I always expect certain things (long holidays, being loved, graduation, giving and receiving affection etc.) to ‘set me free’. To cure me from this – whatever it is. So I keep going until I reach them and expect them to magically change things.
Of course, they don’t. The days pass again and it all feels like a foolish way I’ve tricked myself into staying alive
I wish I could stop doing it, I wish I could just find the courage to die.
2 comments
I looked back through some of your stories. I see you lost your brother. That alone is hole in the soul. Forgive me, may I ask, what you think led him to that?
Multiple things from problems at school, a hard break up with his girlfriend to generally being a pessimistic person and thinking about everything way too hard. Deep thinkers are the most unhappy people on the planet, hence why we are on this site I suppose.