I’ve been struggling a lot lately to hold on to the person I used to be before depression. I had so much inside me. I wanted to conquer the world, I wanted everything good life could ever provide. I was a remarkable student. I went even to study abroad… but suddenly everything turned blacked. I mean, looking back there was so many signs that I just ignored. I spent working on means to achieve the things I wanted that when I got ready it was too late … If had seeked helped before … I’ve just turned 28 last week and I felt everything that I’ve worked for has faded away and I’m empty, I’ve nothing.
I was walking home this afternoon and I saw a couple on their 50s talking about the life they had, the carrier, marriage, family. What if nothing good ever happens in my life? I don’t wanna get old and looking back and see that I spent my whole life just struggling or even suffering because honestly I don’t want surrender to this but I don’t know for how long I’ll be able to hold on.
I try to keep in mind that quote … Nothing is lost forever and in this world there’s a kind of painful progress. I really hope this is not for nothing…