Pull the fucking trigger

I really am wondering. why should I give up?

Because I’m broken? because I’m lonely? because I’m sick? because I’m just a…… victim?

Should I pull the fucking trigger on me? Even tho I didn’t put the fucking gun next to my head!

My dad put that fucking gun. My ex “friends”. Other sick people have put that fucking gun on me.
So why would I even pull the fucking trigger?

I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to give a fuck about my feelings. I want to be a dead man walking.

I feel better thinking about how I throw away all my feelings to the volcano and getting rid of them.

I really am doing better with out feeling.
I really am doing better when I think of each part of my needs as a goal.

I know it is sick. I tried to prevent myself from losing my sanity. But I guess I just cracked.

I’m not sure what to feel anymore.
I’m.. probably tired.

good day.