they never had let me be independent…. i cant do anything for my own sake… they forced me to study what they wanted it but never asked what i wanted … and now they’re gonna marry me with someone of their own choice.. i’m not even allowed to choose the guy i’m gonna spend my whole life with …. they hate me and want to get rid of me soon.
I’m kind of living their life. I’m a grown-up. They shouldn’t be like this to me. Always wanna know what I’m doin on the phone. I’m not allowed to go out anywhere except for study….. my dad says he hates me. My mom says she wants to get rid of me soon.
Oh, hm. idk then. I thought your family might have moved to a western country, in which case you might have a chance at running away and having an independent life. It’s tough when your country’s rules and societal rules won’t let you do anything.
Maybe in your situation the best you can do is ask your parents if you could please have *some* input as to which guy to marry, as in if they’re deciding between suitors, to let you give some preference to which one, out of the ones they’re already thinking about.
Sorry I can’t help with any other suggestions. Women have always been subjugated and controlled in all societies throughout human history, in all countries, in varying degrees.
yeah you’re right….. i can’t have an independent life here. But i’m a U.S citizen too and i can run away there. but i don’t have money and i’m not brave enough. and i don’t think that i can think of running…. there’s just one option that is, if they try to force me i’ll have too kill myself. (in case, i fail in suicide, i dont know what punish i will get from my parents for the attempt)
Maybe you can find an organization in the US that can help women run away. I know there’s one in the UK that specifically deals with and helps women with forced marriages/honor killings. I’m sure there’s at least one in the US too.
heyyy
i’m not from Pakistan
& i don’t know your religion [if any]
but if I’m correct to assume u’r muslim
i just want to tell you
girl
it’s ur religious right to say “NO” to that marriage
I mean
yeah
you “can” accept them controlling things like education, privacy, freedom etc…
but marriage
that’s a No No No
That’s a Red Line sweetness
no one
NO ONE
has neither the religious nor the legal right
to force you into that
i know love that the situation must be way harder than i make it seem to be
but i need you to understand that you have that right
i really wish we could speak more
praying for you
[& P.S.
no one can guarantee that they’ll always be strong sweetness
but we can always try to be strong again]
<3
xo
yes i’m a muslim.. and i know i have the right to say NO… but if i do that my dad will kill me… he will force me on gun point if he had to. he is the worst.
🙁
may i ask you
[& i swear i swear i’m not making fun of the situation or taking what u said lightly]
are you serious when you say that…
you really believe that there’s a possibility he would really actually hurt you physically or put ur life in danger?
or do you just mean he’ll shout & scream & make it seem like the end of the world [angry reaction]?
well he says that he’ll do it. i saw him tryna beat my mom. and he’s way too sensitive about his respect and honor in the family and society plus he has mental issues that he’ll never accept.
i forgot to say something very important
ur title is “crying”
& i just wanted to say
i’m so so sorry love that u’r going through this
i really really am
but i need u to dry up ur tears sweetness & let’s think together
i’m sure we’ll find a way out of this B’Ethn Allah
I knew a lady like you….. she was in Pakistan, I helped her escape to the UK…. was to marry her,,, until she lied and I caught her hiding a guy,,,, she never apologized, so I never went back….
perfectgraveyardofburriedhopes1/28/2018 - 11:16 am
so you think all people are the same ? well i dont wanna run away from home and spoil my parents image and honor in the society even tho they hate me. and btw i’m from Pakistan plus i’m not a terrorist and i’m just sick of life.
26 comments
Who, may I ask?
my parents
Why, what is going on? How do they stop you?
they never had let me be independent…. i cant do anything for my own sake… they forced me to study what they wanted it but never asked what i wanted … and now they’re gonna marry me with someone of their own choice.. i’m not even allowed to choose the guy i’m gonna spend my whole life with …. they hate me and want to get rid of me soon.
Why did you do or do you do what they wanted/want?
I’m kind of living their life. I’m a grown-up. They shouldn’t be like this to me. Always wanna know what I’m doin on the phone. I’m not allowed to go out anywhere except for study….. my dad says he hates me. My mom says she wants to get rid of me soon.
How old are you?
21
Do you live at home or living by yourself/supporting yourself with a job? And where are you now? Still in Pakistan?
in Pakistan, at my parents house. Don’t have a job, not allowed to do it actually…
Oh, hm. idk then. I thought your family might have moved to a western country, in which case you might have a chance at running away and having an independent life. It’s tough when your country’s rules and societal rules won’t let you do anything.
Maybe in your situation the best you can do is ask your parents if you could please have *some* input as to which guy to marry, as in if they’re deciding between suitors, to let you give some preference to which one, out of the ones they’re already thinking about.
Sorry I can’t help with any other suggestions. Women have always been subjugated and controlled in all societies throughout human history, in all countries, in varying degrees.
yeah you’re right….. i can’t have an independent life here. But i’m a U.S citizen too and i can run away there. but i don’t have money and i’m not brave enough. and i don’t think that i can think of running…. there’s just one option that is, if they try to force me i’ll have too kill myself. (in case, i fail in suicide, i dont know what punish i will get from my parents for the attempt)
Maybe you can find an organization in the US that can help women run away. I know there’s one in the UK that specifically deals with and helps women with forced marriages/honor killings. I’m sure there’s at least one in the US too.
heyyy
i’m not from Pakistan
& i don’t know your religion [if any]
but if I’m correct to assume u’r muslim
i just want to tell you
girl
it’s ur religious right to say “NO” to that marriage
I mean
yeah
you “can” accept them controlling things like education, privacy, freedom etc…
but marriage
that’s a No No No
That’s a Red Line sweetness
no one
NO ONE
has neither the religious nor the legal right
to force you into that
i know love that the situation must be way harder than i make it seem to be
but i need you to understand that you have that right
i really wish we could speak more
praying for you
[& P.S.
no one can guarantee that they’ll always be strong sweetness
but we can always try to be strong again]
<3
xo
yes i’m a muslim.. and i know i have the right to say NO… but if i do that my dad will kill me… he will force me on gun point if he had to. he is the worst.
🙁
may i ask you
[& i swear i swear i’m not making fun of the situation or taking what u said lightly]
are you serious when you say that…
you really believe that there’s a possibility he would really actually hurt you physically or put ur life in danger?
or do you just mean he’ll shout & scream & make it seem like the end of the world [angry reaction]?
well he says that he’ll do it. i saw him tryna beat my mom. and he’s way too sensitive about his respect and honor in the family and society plus he has mental issues that he’ll never accept.
okay… so let me, [again please forgive me <3 ], put this clearly… one last time
he directly said that if you refuse he will hurt/kill you…
?
he said that to my mom
he directly told me he hates me
okay
first of all
& before i continue
i forgot to say something very important
ur title is “crying”
& i just wanted to say
i’m so so sorry love that u’r going through this
i really really am
but i need u to dry up ur tears sweetness & let’s think together
i’m sure we’ll find a way out of this B’Ethn Allah
okay
<3
xo
secondly,
i’m fine with whatever u feel comfortable with
but if u feel this is getting personal
& that maybe it’s better if we talk more privately
my email is farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail
& you’re most most welcome to contact me whenever u wish
okay
<3
okay :)) Thankyou
Most Most Welcome sweetness <3 <3 <3
i'm trying to lay out some different solutions & options for you in my head right now
will write again in an hour or so
okay
<3
Big Big Big Hug
<3
I knew a lady like you….. she was in Pakistan, I helped her escape to the UK…. was to marry her,,, until she lied and I caught her hiding a guy,,,, she never apologized, so I never went back….
so you think all people are the same ? well i dont wanna run away from home and spoil my parents image and honor in the society even tho they hate me. and btw i’m from Pakistan plus i’m not a terrorist and i’m just sick of life.
A lot of us on here are sick of life. !00% agree. I am sorry this terrible thing is put on you. I cannot imagine it.