I am much happier on disability. No more bitchy idiotic hambeast managers. The sexual harassment that I would face. I still feel scarred over it. It haunts my memories. It’s like I’m facing the results of rape without being rape. You feel so dirty, worthless, and you wonder why me? The time I got my ass touched, or when married men hit on me. I was told by a support manager to do a striptease in front of crowd of employees. Working a job is like the only place I get hit on by assholes. Doesn’t matter if you work hard, if you’re not one of the manger’s favorite, then they cut you loose. It’s like grade school all over again except without the grown-ups watching your back.
I’ve tried to commit suicide over my jobs. In fact most of my bullying has been sexual, at age 11 I was isolated by my classmates because of the rumors of me being gay, and later guys think it’s so hot if I did girls. If I wasn’t bullied sexually, then I was called retarded. My memories of the bullying is hazy, but I know that the results are buried inside my mind.
Now and days, I’m let alone like I’m been forgotten about, This neither good nor bad. I sit at home watching tv, play my switch, draw, and read books. Not having to work is something some people wish for. My life might be boring to some. About being forgotten, I’ve always struggled to make friends, but now my mood is better, it’s like no one is interested in me. My therapist encourages me to reach out to others, but it’s not working. Everyone’s too busy, so I sit in the corner forgotten.
2 comments
I’m glad you are happier.
I like getting disability too but I do get scared I will become to used to having money.
I was homeless for 11 years. I think I was happier then though. I was alone.
I read and reread your story. I could relate. My reaction to the workplace sexual harassment and emotional abuse was an ardent desire to die. I have been insulted in more ways than I can remember at work.