Fed Up

I’m convinced more than ever the world truly hates me. Its always one thing after another. Needing to do shit for school, neurologist appts that need to be rescheduled, birth control issues. I realize I, like most other people, have shit like this always going on. Daily life struggles and stresses. But most people have a day or two out of the week where they get to do something they truly enjoy doing or get together with a group of friends and get to sit around and joke and laugh and just all together forget about these struggles for the day. I don’t. I don’t have friends anymore. I don’t have hobbies I like to do alone. I don’t have that escape. That is why I hate life. Life used to be tolerable when on the weekends I would get together with my fiends and have fun but now its all pointless. I don’t have good days to equal out the shitty parts in my life. I literally feel like I keep going day after day, month after month for no reason. I wish I had the balls to end it because I just want to be free from this. I doubt college will be better. If I wasn’t already committed I would probably just move south and leave everything behind. I just really don’t see any point to this life I’m supposedly living. I’m miserable, lonely, unmotivated, and most importantly I’m unhappy. I keep waiting it out every year thinking the next will be better but I’m starting to think I should just end it all ..