Someone help me please

My whole life i have felt as if i wasnt meant to be. I never meant my grandparents or any of that. I felt that i was being pubished for being born. I was just fine, but then now im so sad inside. i cry every night and i cut. It numbs my pain and i just want someone to talk to because im so lonely. Someone please. i call but nobody returns. Its like a dropped call on a phone. Dead Silence, its scary but makes me worse. Ive tried hanging but i failed and ive never been so sad about it. My school got involved and ruined everything, i have so much more to say but i cant, goodbye x