I think I may have reached a breaking point. I know I don’t have anything to be depressed about, but I am. IT SUCKS! I hate it, everything, everyone. I was singing terribley morbid poems to my dog. My freakin dog! I don’t think he seemed to mind though, its not like he understood a word I was saying. I am empty, like a bird’s bones. I am hollow, happiness is hollow, life is hollow. It feels fake and uninteresting. Why is it? It should be but it isn’t. When everyone screams in class like retards because we have some famous actor coming over. Whatever. I don’t care. I should I should! No, I want to! I want to feel that excitement, I want to dream again and see beautiful images in the cracks in old walls. I want life to be fresh and new, I want too much. I can’t have it all. I need someone to say “These feelings are real and will go away.” If they do say that I won’t believe them anyways.
I just want to sleep all day, but I must do good in school so that I don’t end up like my parents or stay with them. Dragging myself out of bed each morning, mourning for the morning. So tired, I want to rest.
2 comments
oh my god
story of my life.
literally thats exactly how i feel. I’m so tired and weak. i just cant bring myself to care about anything i used to. please email me if you want to talk: linabinabrownie@gmail.com Send me one of your terribly morbid poems. id like to to here one 🙂 please dont be awkward about it. i need someone to talk to sometimes.
I don’t know why I get up in the morning, I just do. I would love to put my feet on the floor and want to embrace the day, not just exist. I stay tired and can’t find a reason. I would like to find the energy to do what I need to. The dirt nap is looking better all the time.