Or she isnt. Right now im just focusing on getting through the night. I’m having problems with my girlfriend again, not that shed know it, again, because she’s a child(not literally) and I can’t reach out to her. I feel like a drug addict and she’s my dealer doling out just enough affection to keep me hooked. I like to think shes doing the best she can, but even if she is, i dont feel like its enough. Am i judt expecting too much out of one person? I dont fucking know, im pushing our usual weekend together back a day so i can spend some time on my own. I just cant handle the stress. I dont understand. I think im bipolar or borderline or something, though only ever beeb officially diagnosed as dysthymic. I go from loving her unconditionally to hating her unconditionally over the course of a day.
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2 comments
Fukkkkk. Just wrote this long post and it got vaped. Dammit. Alright coles notez: i am more suited to just fukkking like a beast and sex. Just my DNA and my instability and my hunger for life… and death. I guess?
I would examine why you feel so much hatred and really investigate it. If it continues to grow it can be so detrimental to you. In psychiatry they call it a double bind. Your partner can gaslight you, manipulate you into thinking that shit is normal when it aint healthy in the slightest. I wouldnt advise any rash decisions but let the gut lead your movement.
Fukkkkk. Just wrote this long post and it got vaped. Dammit. Alright coles notez: i am more suited to just fukkking like a beast and sex. Just my DNA and my instability and my hunger for life… and death. I guess?
I would examine why you feel so much hatred and really investigate it. If it continues to grow it can be so detrimental to you. In psychiatry they call it a double bind. Your partner can gaslight you, manipulate you into thinking that shit is normal when it aint healthy in the slightest. I wouldnt advise any rash decisions but let the gut lead your movement