I know she’s the reason i hate myself. I wish I could just shut it off. but her nasty mean voice has gotten ingrained in me. whenever i tell myself that im not enough or that nobody cares, or i wont get anywhere in life, it’s in her voice.
the worst part about her lasting impression is like, most of the time i feel like im not even allowed to be sad. Whenever I would get upset or start crying it was always ‘stop feeling sorry for yourself’
any time i get depressed i just tell myself im feeling sorry for myself and i should stop because im nothing special
but its all her and i can’t make it stop
2 comments
Do you still live with her or are you gone? That really sucks I think everyone here knows how hard it is to get out of that negative mindset once it has been drilled into your brain for so long.
I used to feel that way about my parents when I was a teenager. After, hmmmm, maybe on and off therapy over the course of 3 decades, I have learned to accept that they are human and made mistakes just like I have and they tried to be the best parents they could be at the time.
Don’t get me wrong, some parents are true nightmares and should never have been allowed to have kids bc they are so abusive. For your sake, if you’re still living there bc you’re underage, then I hope you’re going to be of legal age soon so you can move out and then start the healing process. In the meantime, please hold on. One day you will be ready rid of her and then the best revenge is to do well in life so you can be like “F You! I made it despite of you!”