Hi

I’m struggling too. I can no longer walk, cook for myself, read, or do much of anything… I can hardly sleep sometimes usually I am woken up after 20-30 minutes of very light sleep by nightmares or nightmares with paralysis. I am afraid of people so much so that even going out to get a meal (which is the only thing I can basically do now – eat until very full) frightens me. The only thing I have going for me is I have a job so some money is coming in, but very little. I’d like to quit but a little afraid of quitting because I don’t know what would happen to me should I have all that free time. I used to feel a capable being now I do not even like myself and will probably just live in this empty husk for the rest of my life. I am also afraid of the folk I live with and I get very scared sometimes. I used to be able to walk and cook so I lost some weight before but I haven’t been able to for a year and a half so I am gaining weight back. I lost 70 pounds and gained back at least 10 in that year and a half. I probably gained 5 more. I try not to worry about it because I just hope I won’t reach that point again and I’m still ahead 60 pounds.. but it was different before I was slightly obese but I was still happy then and I didn’t care or even think about my weight because I was happy. Now I am very weak, scared, and depressed so now I compulsively get angry at myself about my gains,