Nothing

It’s a small world indeed.
Nowhere to run.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t change. People don’t change. They just show their true colors.
No matter where you go, you can’t start from zero. Someone else will inevitably recognize you. This life is just an endless cycle. A social circle that keeps getting bigger, but seems to be closing in.
The older you get, the more people you know, the less friends you have. More expectations to be met, more people to disappoint. All the pressure in my chest, the buzzing sound in my head. Wanting to cry, yet nothing comes out.
Achieving nothing, while everyone else fulfills their dreams.
Inspiration gone, motivation lost (maybe it was never there?). Fear of failure.
Replaceable. Forgettable. Second best. Taken for granted. Gave it all, got back nothing.
Emptiness. Suicidal thoughts that seem to be my own fault. No one to talk to. No one who listens. No one who truly cares.
A wasted life, a pointless death. No one will remember.
Want to leave, nowhere to go. Living on the shadow of others’ successes.
Lie. Lie. Lie. Everything is fine. Repeat until you actually believe it.
Keep your mind busy; a busy mind can’t think of death. The dark thoughts just pause.
Until they don’t. Until they gather. Until they start showing yet again.
8 years of what ifs. 8 years of depression. 8 years of seeking the end. 20 years of wasting people’s time & effort.
I’m better off somewhere else. Just like an illusion. A mirage. A false memory. I never was, never will be.
I’m nothing, to everyone. Always was. Always will be.