I finally confessed to my family about my depression and suicidal attempts. I always try to pretend to be okay around them and for five years I did my best trying to strengthen our bonds. I always did my best to keep planning activities together, slending more time, helping them with their troubles. I expected to have built up a little bit of good will. But they expresed apathy towards my depresion. They could no believe nor understand what I was talking about. Is like everything until now was a lie. Is painful. My confesion just destroyed my connection to them. I will never be confortable being around them anymore. Tonight, I feel more inclined than ever to end my worthless life.
3 comments
I remember when I told my mom I had depression and was suicidal. She acted like she cared for the first 24hrs and then I never heard about it again. Of course what can be expected from the one that caused it.
Basically yeah family can suck sometimes but I have a therapist now and I’m working towards getting things better. You don’t have to end it. Yeah it can be horrible but we don’t need the mean people in our life. If they can’t be there for your worst then they don’t need to be there for your best.
‘Never feel comfortable’ is a very large claim.
Family will always be family. So they’re connected to you. But they’re also humans, and so they’re stupid and annoying.
Definitely don’t give up because of your family.
I have noticed that most people have a really hard time with our trauma and pain. People don’t know what to say or how to fix it so they blow it off because of their own inability to connect to their own suffering. The only thing I have found that helps is knowing what I need and explicitly asking for that help. I may only have one person in my life at any given time who might understand what I’m going through or none at all. It’s lonely, but even when everyone in my life has “failed” me, some things I’ve taken to doing on my own have at least gave me a fighting chance….being out in nature, hanging with my animals, exercise (though I still feel stupidly self conscious doing it) anything to get you out of your suffering and realize there is more to life than my small mind.