I can’t clean the blood…
i barely can distinguish three options…
i can’t decide…
i can’t listen to this song over and over again, that reminds me of my son when he was a newborn, 18 years ago, my collicky boy, dad always had your back…
i can’t envision a future with my boy and my girl…
i can’t ask for help…
i can’t deal with this hurt…everyday is the same…i cry and miss them…i can’t do it anymore…
working from home, no one knows, not even my best friends, and i cant fool them anymore…he knows…he’s seen the scars…i can’t…
i can’t decide get what i had, and what i need, so these will have to suffice…maybe all three…again…i can’t…
Tee weather is coming and i cant hide these scars anymore…
my insides burn but i can’t quit this alcohol now…
i cant hide this shattered heart…
i can’t…
i’m so broken…
This hurts to admit. Hurts so much.
1 comment
I remember your first post a few months ago. It made a huge impression.
One thought to hold on to: your son is 18 now. Officially an adult. I’m sure that means, if he chooses, he can visit you? I don’t know what sort of BS conditions the courts decreed, but even your ex told the judge you are a good father. So that tells me your boy will want to see you. And now that he’s an adult I don’t think any court can block him from doing what he wants.
Maybe that could give you a reason to stop cutting and dump the bottle? You need a positive reason to quit and this could be it. Please consider it, even for just a few weeks. Chances are you WILL see your son again, maybe soon. Won’t that be a great day worth living for?