This emptiness been weighing down lately… No feelings, nothingness filling through the mind body & soul. Contemplating has no effect. People you know wouldn’t try to understand.. but rather would be quick to judge. My intuition is quite sharp to notice. Even the slightest difference in people body language, looks or the way they talk.. I’ve always known but stupidly tried to do something different.. guess my demon’s are pulling me back. To that dark place.. went through every type of emotions you can speak of.. I’m quite paranoid anyways even when I know I’m right.. lol guess I took the listening to the heart. My shadows swallowing my existence. When I open up it’s either a bargaining of how will we deal with this type. I don’t really care really. Im not saying I’m a good/bad person. That don’t matter to me at all.. which goes both ways I don’t care how others view me.. I’m too used to this. When I act out it’s judgemental time. Now tell me really when you been monitored for a long time and have to act discipline or human. The thing call “normal”?. Wtf is that? I don’t like To be like the rest of controlled world. Yes I’ve fucked up and my karma’s coming which been hunting me since I was young. But please explain to me when the one close to you have to act so fake.. just to keep the camera rolling. How would you react?. How should you? Really, just keep your head up? I don’t really talk about the voice’s in my head. The thoughts that be lurking and staying. Because if I do.. who around would Relate?.. I test those I first meet till the end of the relationship. Because I don’t believe in friends.. you either fam or not. But yeah. I always know how my relationships end up like. If I don’t feel like me when I’m around you then I’m gone. I don’t like putting on a mask. But the bad thing is when people gets caught up. I don’t why I stay with them. I listen and empathize. But don’t always get the same in return. Now I put on a Seal mask to survive till my last day. Emotionless. No feelings. MY BIGGEST WISH IS DEATH! anything apart from it. Don’t mean nothing. By any means can’t wait till I’m gone
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
You sound miserable man. Really low place to be. Depression is a roller coaster all the way. Throw you up just long enough to grab a breath and drag you back. Give you hope only to crush you again. It’s fucked up. And the worst part is the enemy is your own brain. It’s like you’re trapped in your own mind with the company of yourself and your two good n evil angels that are too loaded to think one original thought among themselves. You’re isolated. You hate whatever is doing this to you but that thing is you. So you want to end it in a natural course of thought. It’s fucking crazy. This is an illness. Trapping you. It’s so fucking malicious. I’m sorry you’re in this place. Nobody deserves this shit. Fuck your brain.