I haven’t been suicidal for around a year so far but I still can never shake the feeling of never feeling truly alive. It’s like I feel that no matter how okay things can get it’s always in my mind that it’s an eventuality that I will commit suicide. It’s like how some people think of their future and how they think they’re destined to become a doctor, but my mind just makes me think I’m destined to kill myself. It just makes everything kind of hard to do when it comes to mind.
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Yeah, same. Never fully alive, never fully dead either, no matter how hard I try on both accounts. I know what you’re talking about, feeling destined to die that way, because I’ve been saying that, too, for a while now. Completely convinced I’ll die that way. It’s almost even a romanticized thing, like I wouldn’t want to die any other way.