I’ve been stuck in a spiraling whirlpool and going deeper and deeper for about 2 1/2 years. Its gotten worse in the last 10 months. I feel such an overwhelming sense of inadequacy, of being a failure, of being a burden, of being useless. It keeps getting worse, and I’ve gotten to a point where I consider suicide several times a week.
My episodes of depression are closer and closer, and I feel more and more alone, but I can’t go through with anything, because I know it will cause pain to those around me, and yet I’m so sick of feeling the pain in other people’s souls. I feel other souls all the time, whether good or bad. I cant do anything to stop the tiredness of this world, because I feel I would be failing as a spouse, daughter, sister, friend. Its ironic. The people I care about most make me worse, yet I live for them. I just want to stop feeling my soul crying and tearing itself apart.
I’m glad I found this site. I have a place where I can say this now, without causing pain and showing weakness to those around me.
My episodes of depression are closer and closer, and I feel more and more alone, but I can’t go through with anything, because I know it will cause pain to those around me, and yet I’m so sick of feeling the pain in other people’s souls. I feel other souls all the time, whether good or bad. I cant do anything to stop the tiredness of this world, because I feel I would be failing as a spouse, daughter, sister, friend. Its ironic. The people I care about most make me worse, yet I live for them. I just want to stop feeling my soul crying and tearing itself apart.
I’m glad I found this site. I have a place where I can say this now, without causing pain and showing weakness to those around me.
2 comments
I know what you mean about that you have a place to rant without causing pain and showing weakness to others, because that’s exactly how I feel. Nice to meet you 🙂
“I feel other souls all the time, whether good or bad.” This is spot on for me. Hope you find some peace here