I’ve tried to die many times before but never success every day is just so fast, day in day out, it’s always the same. I’ve once told my mother I was depressed but I was being “dramatic like my father” So I don’t know what to do, I have may reasons to die so do not feel sorry for me. I just wish I could just press a button that gives courage plus 100 so I could die in peace or whatever. I really only care about my young nephew and cousin because their life’s are really bad and wouldn’t want their lives to be any worse, everyone else in my family seemingly hates me. I have some good friends but I’m not too too attached to them. I’m only 15 but I feel like I’ve lived a full life. If you guys know any ways to build up courage, that would be appreciated. And please don’t go into the comments and try to tell me that I should stay alive because I just don’t want to hear that, those kinds of comments are really annoying.
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okay… i won’t try to tell You that You should stay alive…
could i only only
just ask You
to, if possible, tell us
what are any\some\all of the reasons why You wish to die?
: /
My parents divorced when I was 6 if I remember correctly and my stepdad died, my mother’s never around and the people I’m with are almost always drunk or on drugs. I’m transgender so I have a lot of dysphoria and if I told anybody I definitely would be looked down upon since I live in the south. There are many more reasons like how my family hates each other but I’d rather not get into that.
okayy : (
mate that sure *is* hard… for your age most specially : (
could i ask about your dad…
have You had any contact with him since the divorce?…
‘do’ You have any contact with him at current time?
Not really, I barely know where he lives anymore. Though I always remembered him as a good person. I talk with him like once a year.
Is there any possibility that you could live with your father? He seems like someone you can connect to, on some level at least, and possibly he left that relationship with your mother because he knew that being around her and her family would ultimately crush his soul, as it appears to be doing to you. I’m not one to tell you that things are going to be easier the longer you live, but one thing that life does always afford is the possibility of improvement (and of course the flip side – things getting worse). I don’t believe life is about being happy, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin, and if you could somehow be cared for by someone who is willing to see you for who you truly are and love you unconditionally, as a parent ought to do, it might present you with a path that lets you move forward so you can love yourself enough to embrace what life has to offer, good and bad, so you can demonstrate that you have everything you need to appreciate and endure it. Just something to consider. Take care.