28.

Today is my birthday and all I can think is “I would rather die than have another birthday.” I don’t want to get older when I feel like I’m not even living. The past 8 years it’s been one thing after another, I thought it would get easier but it really hasn’t. I’m not even finished my fucking bachelor’s degree, my health keeps getting in the way. I’ve been having a trauma response for the past 2-3 months, so I’m failing all of my courses which doesn’t get me anywhere closer to graduating. I get there’s more in life than school and work… But I would like to actually feel like an adult rather than suffer through depression and anxiety and other health problems. I’d like to actually achieve something before I’m 30. I don’t know if I can live another year feeling like such a useless fuckup.