i’m not a good person. i could be recovering now but i want to stay where it’s safe and that’s all because of who i am and how i was brought up. i want someone to come in and fix it for me. i just feel nothing generally because i’ve always protected myself from feeling anything. i guess i try to help some people sometimes and i am creative but i don’t feel like anything is worth going through. i’m depressed because i want to be happy and i want everyone in the world to be happy and i want the world to be fixed but i don’t want to fix it because it’s too much effort. basically i feel like i don’t have any more options. i can’t bear the thought of waking up tomorrow but i can’t bear the thought of dying and it is horrible that so many people feel worse and i can’t help that. everything’s just too overwhelming. but i have to keep going for my family. even if i’m just surviving. i’m so lucky and i could do so much with my time but i’m scared and apathetic.
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2 comments
I’m sorry for your pain.
Our contribution, our help to our fellow human beings, no matter how small, is never insignificant. Just like the Ocean is made of drops, and the forest of trees, and the flower field of flowers, each precious and constructive. How constructive one wishes to be: imagine one could improve the world situation by 1%, that’s worth all my strength, even if it were 0.1% or 0.01%.
Oh hun. Im so sorry. Its not your fault the world is like this. And you trying to help, no matter how small is helping somewhere. Its helping someone. Your smile made someones day. Your laugh made someones day. Just because you cant do somthing big. Doesn’t mean anything. Your still helping someone, somewhere, somehow.