I’ve been cheated on in all my past relationships and then thrown away. I was just dating someone for a year and half and they broke up with me after cheating on me too. I’m about to fail out of school in my senior year. I’m drowning constantly and I have no one to talk to. It feels like there’s a stack of 1000 books onto of my skull. The girl I thought was the love of my life is gone forever. She won’t stop texting me about how she misses me and wants to be with me and I can’t even answer. It’s like the ghost of her is mocking me. My only friends don’t really like talking to me, probably because I’m such a sad sack piece of shit. I don’t blame them. My friends, my family, anyone I’ve told about this has answered with “yeah well… it happens… alright see ya.”
Am I just built to weak for life? Am I supposed to just take this and keep moving??? I shut down!!!! I. Shut. Down. And now I don’t know if I’m ever going to start again. It feels hopeless and drained. It’s all just a husk of what it could’ve been and what it should’ve been. Maybe if I was just a little more confident I could be the kind of person that someone wants to be there for. But I understand why I’m treated the way I do. I deserve it after all and always will. I’m an asshole. Just a stupid asshole. The only good thing I’ve done is appeared invisible. I’ve reached out to some old friends recently and they either stopped answering or answered with “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore because you’re such a mess that you don’t answer for weeks at a time.”
it doesn’t matter that I hurt when I’m causing more pain combined to all the people around me. It makes me a problem. And my mindset of feeling sorry for myself while I drain everyone around me, without even talking to them, makes me leech
3 comments
Even something as pathetic and stupid as not getting any comments every time I post here amplifies how I alone I feel. No one will ever even see this. Everything I say and do is pointless. I’m simply too negative and fucked in the head to ever be happy with other people again. I’ll see how long I can make it on my own.
I read your post. IDK what to say. I just met up with a woman I desire so much and she’s not interested in me in that way.
Is requited love possible?
I see this, and I’m sure there are many people that also do. Sometimes it’s just hard to help, especially with words, especially when you don’t know someone well. But, you’re not alone, you are visible, and what you do and say matters to other people. We often get negative when bad things happen to us, I think it’s normal, so perhaps don’t blame yourself too much about it. But it’s true that usually people won’t love you for being negative, and… I sincerely wish you good luck in getting through all your difficulties, and then when you get through them mentally, in finding a way to have a life that brings you more positivity with people that care about you and make you feel better