i feel so alone. i know everyone feels alone. but i feel like i have no excuse to feel the way i do. i feel like everyone who has the same problems as me is able to deal with them or able to get on with their life and i don’t know why i’m so absolutely pathetic about everything that happens to me. autism makes my life difficult but there are so many autistic people i know who have friends and partners adn are able to function normally so that can’t be it. being trans makes my life difficult but i know so many trans people who just live normal lives and have friends and partners so that can’t be it. it feels like there is something fundamentally wrong wwith me because i can’t think of any other reason why i am the way i am. i don’t have any excuses. and i always end up back here. and i know i’m going to kill myself some day. i feel like there’s a bomb inside me and every day it gets closer to killing me.