first post.
So I admit, I’m a depressed pos, however I’m aware that things can get better. Only if I tried right?
This is something about my life never getting better. Maybe it does temporarily but it never lasts long.
At first I thought it was that I didn’t have any friends. I have some of those now and I’m still depressed. I thought it was because I couldn’t find a boyfriend, but now I’m onto my second one and I’m still feeling this way.
I’ve experienced the highs that cause me to believe that there is a possibility to get over all of this, but then I sink right back into the hole I came from.
Am I working hard to get out? Id like to say sometimes, but honestly no. Maybe it’s because it’s all I know.
Suko.
3 comments
I understand this feeling too well. A long time ago I found myself in this same loop, bouncing between the highs and lows of life, but I came to a conclusion that there are only to ways to be mostly happy in life and that is to either always be self improving, or to realize life will never be always happy. I think we have to be content knowing that life will be a roller coaster, which are scary when ridden alone, but when you have someone to ride it with it becomes fun.
I agree. Life is easier when you have someone to suffer with, and that suffering can become something better. Maybe there will even be happiness.
But what if the suffering I hold inside hurts those around me? I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want them to worry about me wanting to kill myself.
Sometimes I think id be better off if I simply dealt with this alone, with no one to spread this mental disease to.
I’m but that’s really how it works. It’s okay to try and deal with it on your own, that has worked for some people, but when you feel yourself slipping, when you feel like you’re loosing that battle with mental illness you have to tell someone. I know you don’t want to pass on this illness to those you love and care about but in your attempts to avoid that situation you end up doing exactly what you were trying to avoid. Imagine if you ended it all without telling anyone or giving them a chance to at least try and talk you out of it. You wind up leaving them with their own trauma, and their own self doubt. Some will blame themselves and won what they could have done, why didn’t they notice the signs, why weren’t they there for you. By not seeking out their help you are robbing them of their mental stability and passing on the illness in a way.