A Reason

I think it’s hard to imagine what you could do to children that would cause them more pain than that, with the exception of physically harming them (and even then, it might be a question of extent.) It’s certainly possible they might somehow end up better off, but it’s hard to comprehend how that could be the expected outcome.

But supposing your assessment of that is accurate, I think the only possible reasons would have to be internal, unless you believe in some kind of higher power. If you’re somehow certain that those around you would be better off, the only other motivations would seem to be self-concerned.

For me, it’s primarily fear. Fear of the experience of dying, and fear of the possibility of something worse beyond. Only when the question arises of whether I should try to overcome those fears do my concerns for family come into play. I don’t have children, so for me it’s my parents, my sister, and my baby nephew. I’m pretty sure their world would be turned upside down if I did it, not because I’m so vitally important to their lives, but just because that’s how I’d feel if they did it. I don’t think I should do that to them. But then I’m just miserable, not in excruciating agony. I can imagine being in such intense pain that it would overwhelm any concerns for the effects on others.

So I think I should probably go on, for as long as I can. Because my pain doesn’t seem strong enough to justify overcoming my fear (yet.) But in order to find your own reason/s, I think you’d have to talk about yourself to a wise person for an extended period, or do a great deal of introspection as to why you’re even reaching for a reason.