Highlights of my depression this year so far

This is my first post and lets do this.

I am just an average guy who fought with depression my whole life. It started in fifth grade and got worse over the years. Sorry for my english I am not a native speaker

Highlights this year:

– (Januaray) My uncle died, my dad had a stroke, and my ex broke up with me. Best 3 weeks of my life.

-(ApriL) I broke down in front of my parents telling them that i want to kill myself whil crying. they respone was laughing me out.

-(May) I had a break down in my workplace where everyone could see me. my manager ( He is a really good guy ) had a personal talk with me that i should take a time out and do something with someone important someone who understands me. At this moment I realised I was alone no one really cared about me neither my family nor my friends. no one who just randomly checks on me and really knows me. I just spaced out and started crying while telling him that I have literally no one.

-(May) I started cutting myself again

-(May) lost 5k in shares

-(June) My old workplace through me out because of my mental state

– My suicide thoughts just got worse and everytime i only think about killing myself.

I started to realize its easy to just smile and tell everyone that u r fine. Because I already experienced that whenever I talk about my depression people start getting distance.

I hope u liked my first poste. There are way more stories to be told but i dont have…