This will likely be the reason I take my life at this point in time if not because of the fact that I see people at the age my brain is at as the same age as me it’s also because of the fact that I also fall in love with them. I’ve been hanging out with up until the point of today that I really connected with emotionally and in addition to that someone I cared a ton about. My brain is probably at the point where it’s a couple of years younger than the age of 18 which in all honesty scares but it would eventually be whatever if the world didn’t see me as horrible for developing feelings. I ended up gifting someone Discord Nitro on a server as well as taking things to an extent that I shouldn’t have but I really cared about this person. The pain I’m feeling has convinced me that if this is going to be life for me then what is the point of continuing things. What is the point of trying to feel love with people your brain identifies as being the same age. What is the point of anything? I lost someone who considered me an Autism buddy and that was incredibly kind to me. I’m at the point where I’ve bought the items needed for my attempt and to be honest with you I have plans of saying goodbye to my cat before handing her off to my neighbors. As you can see in my previous post I’m a survivor of assault at a young age age and as a result I’ve dealt with some pretty horrible things that even had me close to the point of death. I’ve been told the PTSD might return at some point according to a Facebook Group which to be honest with you if it does that would be whatever. It’s the part where I’m unable to feel and experience any part of life because of my brain that hurts me. It’s the fact that I lost a friend that was incredibly nice to me and that had Autism that pains me a lot as well because got along incredibly well. I’d really like to apologize to anyone this post hurts as well as anyone I’ve hurt by talking about it on Discord. If you choose to comment please be nice to me. I’ve sent a date of 07/16/22 at 5:00 PM CST at which time an alarm is set to go off an hour before. I’d like to note that informing the police about my situation will only make things worse as the people at a hospital would only make things worse for me. My other post explains the childhood abuse I went through.
Vazard x Hardstyle Mafia – Wrong Feelings (was lead to believe this bullshit at one point)
1 comment
I sure like that first song. It sounds beautiful and the video is beautiful too. Also there was a fan made video and it was great.
Sorry I know not much about autistic, it sure seems challenging.