am i the one thats supposed to stop my mom from crying? where the fuck is my dad? they are married so im sure he can stomach enough time to even comfort her a little bit. he never comforted me, so im not really sure if he knows how to actually. maybe the best thing for him to do is remain ignorant so my mom can maybe pretend like things are ok when shes around him. when i was talking to my mom 20 minutes ago she just said, “i need to go, i have to go, i have to go.” really faintly and almost on the verge of crying. i have a thing with eye contact so I don’t look at people when i talk to them if its something serious, so I don’t really know what she looked like, but she sounded like she was about to cry. theres no better feeling than making your mother cry right. and its not like afterwards is any better. because now im thinking, ok well at least i have drugs. but she doesn’t have drugs. so i get to feel better but she doesn’t. i mean after i take them its not really gonna matter anymore cause ill be gone. but, you know while im still sober it definitely hurts. a part of me wants to not take them simply because of the fact that she can’t, but now is not that time.
<3, for you
4 comments
Absent parent always creates problems.
I dont know how to comfort you right now, neither do I know how you can handle your mother. All I know is yea that’s so fuckinh shitty. I guess you gotta first handle yourself. I just hope you find other way than drugs. I’ll swallow you. Please. Just lessen it a bit. Your presence will weigh more when you’re sober. It’s a cycle, a bloody cycle.
I hope you get through this.
Absent parent always creates problems.
I dont know how to comfort you right now, neither do I know how you can handle your mother. All I know is yea that’s so fuckinh shitty. I guess you gotta first handle yourself. I just hope you find other way than drugs. I’ll swallow you. Please. Just lessen it a bit. Your presence will weigh more when you’re sober. It’s a cycle, a bloody cycle.
I hope you get through this.
You have a big heart. Stay strong friend.
I know it sucks having to do the thing he’s supposed to be doing and the drugs do help sometimes I really get that and the feeling bad is the worst part because it isn’t your fault and it shouldn’t be your responsibility but you take on the responsibility anyways because no one else will and that makes you a great person and sometimes it helps to hear that, that it isn’t your fault and your a good person that’s what you have to remember.