I have started hurting myself

I have started cutting myself with the blade of a pencil sharpener that shit is sharp and it works but I do it to get over all the pain I have, and it usually works for a couple minutes at a time it feels good to cut myself and I like the pain too much to stop now I am also going to get a therapist and hopefully it will help with me wanting to kill myself because it is getting worse day by day. Furthermore, I have started watching Hamza on YouTube and I will try to start working out to boost my self-esteem and hope it works and will make me stop all of the bad things I have been doing Drugs,smoking,self harm etc. and I do them just to feel something that is not sadness and I hate doing things like this but it’s so additive that I just can’t stop anymore and I will keep trying and hoping but I don’t know if it will be enough and my girlfriend breaking up with me didn’t help and my uncle killed himself when we was in his early twenty’s so if it doesn’t get better what’s the point of living if it only gets worse anyways that’s all for right now have a good day.