i just don’t know what to do anymore. everything hurts- smiling, laughing, acting like i don’t think about dying and that i am not affected by all those insults. sometimes its just all too much and the worst part is that i have to act like it doesn’t affect me and that i don’t cut, that those scars on my arms are not my anger my frustration and my helplessness. all i can do is come here and write about it all, my feelings which i am too afraid to show others.
someone said to me that i have a lot in me but i don’t show it to anyone and all i could do was smile because i can’t tell him that everything that i have inside me might be too dark and too much for people to handle and that if they ever find out, maybe they’ll leave me forever.
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It’s weird. Maybe she was baiting to get out of a perceived lawsuit or something.
I feel sorry for her. Dealing with a narcissistic life surrounded by narcissistic people, displaying those behaviors as a result of growing used to that world. She’ll break down crying about wanting to know real peoplw. There’s awareness. So then, how can she mention racism as if she isn’t blind herself to what people are really like. I think that’s why it sounds so black and white up there sometimes…. Do the celebrities really get it anymore? What it’s like down here. It isn’t as hostile close up, domestically. But you know, celebrities, they like handing out victim cards. As does the news sometimes. It catches the eye then.
One thing about cybercrime, the big stuff, is that one can be unaware of the technology’s capabilities and if they’re narcissistic enough, there’s a halo effect. And, the narcissistic person will lie and say nothing is there if the aren’t scapegoated in those moments growing used to it. Imagine. That’s where the Illuminati sign is funny to me. Narcissists really do the Illuminati sign even if their rights are taken away from them. I’m talking about AI in cars in 2015. The narcissist will say nothing is there, even if it’s present on their own device and invades their life. Narcissists love saying “it was me all along” it was for me all along” and use it as a wingman, forgetting their rights to privacy. Ironic, right? Obama had this stuff as early as 2015. What we hear about it now, anyways, it was as advanced if not more accurate at predictability. Interestingly, if something like that is inside a house, to measure how someone is reacting to it, without a device, you’d have to look for a butterfly effect. If they shielded themselves or not, if they’re used to it and adapted comfortably, could all somewhat be measured by surveiling how they perceive people in a crowd, etc. Suggestibility, fear, sensory overload and psychological splitting, are all things to look for if at some point, an unsuspecting victim were to grow suspicious and throw out their phone. In other words, our country is still very unprepared for that type of advanced technology.
Anyways, I feel bad for stooping to the Gaga. But this random venting. Sorry.
Because even in person surveillance isn’t enough for that type of terror threat. It’s very easy to create a halo effect, fear… if the general public isn’t aware of how advanced AI really is today. To hide it in plain sight, needing no operator… Is truly a problem our own government has failed to solve time and time again.
It’s very easy to use that technology to make a situation feel inescapable. It would parrot data back to you as you typed, and accurately mirror the person depending on how much data it had collected from the person. That being said, everyone knows that anonymity even with the slight hint of a tone of voice or octave etc, will almost always be directly correlated with who someone is the most interested in. (Social media) you like Biden, or trump, etc.
What would pushing someone to commit a crime look like if you had a control a narrative then…. With anonymity.
Anyways, this brings up a more tangible concern about AI that’s good at lying, like chat gpt… Except with voice. Odd how nobody brings up the fear of that technology being targeted at Epstein types.
Oh, right. But the big look out for our government is hotel rooms. Without victimization, it’s hard to push someone.
Hotel rooms, used cars. Etc. 🙂 I’m done venting.
hey Pretty : )
i wrote You [very lengthily :D] on your first post, but i want You to know i’ve read all of them
i will do my best to reply to all others the coming days, but for today, i just wanna say this:
[again, it’s only my own modest perspective, but i really do believe in it, & so i mean every word written below…]
You
Matter
Lots
& not just to the people who love You & will miss You & feel guilty for losing You [as You wrote in another post]
but to this World as a whole
You Matter Lots to ‘Life’
You have Great Value in & of yourself as a living being & as a human being
& i’d love to talk with You about my perspective of the reasons why i make that claim
<3
i don't want to tire your eyes again, so i'll just keep this part as short as possible: a common theme\concept between what i'm saying now & that 'essay' i wrote You on your first post is that i think a central element in your current situation\problem has to do with
'Purpose'
if You feel okay with it
i'd love to discuss that topic with You
[& i won't be forcing any specific idea or belief upon You, i promise…
i'll tell You my perspective of things but we can discuss & explore all sorts of belief\purpose systems & 'worldviews'…
You're in total control of this, the topic changes &\or the discussion ends the moment You say so]
we can talk about it here
or, if for any reason You prefer it more,
You can e-mail me anyyy time, even if it's 10 years from now,
i'll reply the moment i see your e-mail
my e-mail is:
farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail
i want You to know i'm thankful…
i'm thankful that You posted this…
i read your earlier posts some weeks ago & wanted to reply but couldn't
& then You were silent for a while & i worried
Pretty, if You feel okay with giving me a chance
i'd be more than honored to help as best as i can
i really do mean that
but whatever You decide,
i'm thankful & grateful that You're still here
& i really do hope You're safe & okay, always <3
i wish You all the best with everything<3 xo
thankyou so much for replying to my post and also i’m sorry for going silent for a while but that was only because i did not have anything to say, a few normal days you could say but i’m sorry for making you worry.
and i promise you that if i ever feel too much, you will be the first one i’ll message <3
1}
i’m so So Sooo Sorry for the delayed reply, i read your super sweet answer the same day You wrote it, & wanted to reply right there & then but couldn’t & only managed today
[Probably a really bad image for my previously stated:
“i’ll reply the moment i see your e-mail”
: /
😀
but i swear i do intend to give my outmost best at keeping up to that statement
i’m serious <3
]
2}
it’s completely fine & understandable that You’d be away from here when things are [relatively] okay or not as bad, i’d say it’s expected & actually a good thing,
so no need to apologize at all
it was my own delay at commenting on your posts that caused the worrying
not your fault<3
: )
3}
i know we’ve barely just started talking
& it’s possibly cringy
but
i Love You Lots<3
i do mean it
i appreciate your promise & i’m grateful for it more than You could ever imagine
<333
again
i’d be honored to help, Pretty
immensely honored
stay safe & well kind soul
<3xo