im a dissapointment im a dissapointment im a dissapointment im a dissapointment.

this might come off as stupid and such “oh first world problems whatever” butfirst context. my family celebrate everything. they celebrated when i camr back from a 3 day school trip. we celebrate mothers and fathers day for the US days AND the UK days and even more other stuff.

my entire life my parents would say get good A-Level grades and get into oxford or imperial or whateverand well take a family trip to dubai and all this stuff. and i was really excited for uni and all bc i had my whole life planned out.

i flopped and didnt get in to any of those unis. however i didnt exaftly flop my A Levels. but my parents didnt care. we didnt even go out to eat. i didnt even get a tesco cake. and just its SO obvious theyre dissapointed in me as if i have the worst grades in our entire family tree even though i actually have like the best.

i can be dissapointed in myself bc i am but no one else deserves to be dissapointed in me. ive been so angry and annoyed and upset for the past week and a half bc of this and everyone would tell me that at least i got good grades but it doesnt matter clearly. it doesnt matter to the unis and it doesnt matter to them obviously bc otherwise they would have wanted to celebrate with me.

i want to cry every day and i want to just run away. i cant even cry in my own room bc i share with my sister. to literally shwo any emotion i have to literally exit the house, cry, and then come home. i feel more at home in a park outside than i do in my own house.