So i don’t post much on here. I usually read people’s post on here and see if i can relate on here. I know we’re all hurting inside and we all have our own problems. I figured I’d share something to see what others think about the subject I’m about to talk about
So i knee surgery today. Didn’t seem they found much bad in my knee, but only clean up the inside of it. To keep the story short, i just wanted to say this. When they put me to sleep, i felt i was at peace. No pain, no sorrow, no depression, slno sadness, and ect. It was until they woke me back up in the real world to were i felt it all over again. I don’t know about you guys, but i wish I’d stay asleep. I wish they couldn’t bring me back. I was once at peace, but now brought back to the living world. I hate it so
I’ve been always having these thoughts lately to not want to live. Like so much has happened and ive tried the therapy and meds. None worked for me. It sucks to feel like this all the time though. I wish before we’re brought in this world, we had a choice to live a life in it or not. This world seems more dark than full of light. Idk. Most days i just want to be in the dark and never come out. I wouldn’t care if things went wrong that day or other days i was out to sleep for operations
Anyone else feel like that? Like when they did a procedure that involved u being put to sleep and never waking up from eternal slumber? God I hate it here -_-
2 comments
Do you know what drug they used to put you under? I’m wondering if it induced an artificial euphoria, or if it just knocked you out. The core question being: the peace that you felt – was it real or drug induced?
I’ve never felt anything like you described, but my knockout drugs of choice are very limited. Benadryl used to give me a peaceful feeling, but after I built a tolerance it became anxiety. Ambien is like flipping a switch, you close your eyes and then open them the next day. I hear barbs & benzos are the preferred anaesthetics (I’m guessing that’s what you got) which induce euphoria. Hence the addiction problem.
It would be nice if unconsciousness was peaceful on its own. But it seems to be different for everyone. Troubled souls often have troubled sleep. Makes you wonder how that relates to the ultimate unconsciousness of death.
It’s the stuff that they use to put you to sleep during an operation like heart surgery, knee surgery, kidney, and ect. Like you put dead to sleep and you wake up when you’re in recovery. When I lose consciousness, I felt I was in a dark void for a short time period. It was nice. It was like I was gone completely. Not sure if something did go wrong and I wad still asleep if I would feel any pain or anything though. Still I had the thought hey, it feels like everything is over. I can finally rest.