I’ve written note after note over the last several years. Made plan after plan. Usually with the understanding that i won’t actually be able to follow through. Realistically, I know I still won’t. Tonight won’t be any different. So why am I stressed over whether or not to actually leave a note? Really its only for one person. Would my mom want an explanation? An apology? Will she know I want her to take my dog? That she’s the only one I trust to love him as much as I do? Or would all of that just hurt her more? Maybe i should just go quietly. She doesn’t need to know it’s gotten this bad again.. maybe nobody needs to know. As it is, I’m just screaming into the void. Anyone who might actually see this already knows how this feels. Maybe thats why I’ve always found comfort here.. I don’t know, really… whatever
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
I’m always pro note, for the sake of the person leaving it. Whatever sense you have left, that’s your chance to impart it. If you’ve got a reason, give it, maybe it’ll make a difference for someone else. Maybe not. But being understood always beats not being understood. The written word is a gift.
I mean humans have been standing next to a dead body wondering why for millenia. “Wonder what happened here” they thought. “maybe ghosts”….. and other absurd nonsense. I’m a little obsessed with how truly awful humans are at figuring out WHY other humans die, lacking any better effective evidence.
Like there was this one English king (waaaaay back, before Henry the 8th) that people were sure was killed by ghosts….. hows that for an awful epitaph, I’m sure almost anything would be more meaningful.
The harder you make it for people to deny it the better. Honestly I’d spray paint it onto the side of a building……… Then photograph it and put that photograph online, the internet is forever.