mine seems more like a slow growing cancerous tumor.
or a chronic disease.
sometimes the symptoms go away for a while.
but they always come back.
always.
15 years and counting…
i recently bought a hand-gun for target-shooting and home protection.
in a semi-long period of remission.
if the symptoms ever come back hard-core, i now have really easy means.
i probably signed my death warrant with that purchase.
3 comments
I don’t know if some things will ever fully heal with time. I also purchased a gun for home protection years ago, I suppose we may be in a vaguely similar situation in that regard. Hopefully that day never needs to arrive.
Please take care of yourself.
No, time doesn’t heal all wounds. My ex wife popped her head up, 13 years and she still terrorizes me.
However it’s only a few days every few years, when the wound was fresh it encompassed my entire life for almost a year. That’s relatively healed, and that’s how I find myself measuring; how long does it bother me? If less, the wound is closing. If more, it’s opening again.
You can retraumatize yourself, that stops healing pretty well.
It also depends on the structure of your thoughts. If you are working on it even a little that can make a huge difference. I’m only talking about cognitively speaking, as per latest understandings in psychology.
The semi metaphor, physical injuries often only heal as far as the body can make them. So if there’s a structural reason healing can’t happen, healing doesn’t happen there either. This is my understanding as a nurse assistant for a few years, my biology is nowhere near my psychology education.
Practical terms, talking about the gun, I’m planning such a purchase in a few years when several major emotional triggers are 1000 miles away. However I had a really good talk today with a gun owner. He had some mental health issues in the past and what he did was locked away all his guns.
I really respected him there, that seems like the step. If/when the purchase occurs, some way of stopping my access if I’m ever this unwell again, preferably locking the gun away and giving the key to someone I trust.