I have lost 42 lbs. since the middle of May and I thought I would be happier with the results, but i’m not. I am 166 lbs. right now but for some reason I don’t feel significantly better. My blood pressure has stabilized dramatically which is definitely a positive thing, but I still feel oddly unsatisfied. I walk for around an hour and a half every evening to clear my head and just kind of keep my metabolism still working somewhat. But not even that brisk level of intermediate walking helps me feel better.
I spent 2 hours last night rearranging my game room even though my vision has gotten to a point that I can only play games in very short bursts. I still continue to collect old retro games it provides me with a tiny amount of satisfaction. But as I was dusting and wiping things off in my game room last night it dawned on me why this aspect of my life had become so important to me. As my vision grew worse with each passing year my control over the situation had grown more out of my control over time. I realized the diet and the collecting had been my brain trying to reassert control over something that it could not manage otherwise. So, it had replaced it with things it could feasibly manage. I imagine a lot of us do things like this, it just takes a while to realize it sometimes. I suppose a side benefit is that i’m building equity through some rarer antiquities, so, that’s nice I guess…