The Last Note

I’m currently about to wright my last letter just incase this is it and i wanted to get some thoughts. I already took the sercurity lock off my phone and i have a plan. This is all contingent on a few things, i won’t get into detail. Anyhow I’m just thinking of what needs to be said in my own words and also who will get my car ect. Im dealing with something that is way to much to bare also I’m just under 35 years old and all my immediate family has already past on including my only sister who past away in her sleep 4 years ago and i had to bury her. I’m constantly suffering mentally and physically. Also now that trump is going back just make it all the more reason for me to get the hell out of here. I try to be optimistic but i dont see the world getting any better, in fact just the opposite. I struggle with the thought about this being gods plan but i also think my sister passing and the way she did it was gods plan, had to have been. So god plans for people to leave this world at their own choosing. I’m dealing with panic attacks that are unbearable at times. My heart races, adrenaline rushes my brain and i start profusely sweating and hyper ventilating. This is no way to live. I can barely eat, i only sleep a few hours a night and I’m probably 110lbs. Usually I’m 135. I hope i survive long enough for my body to just give up. But i doubt it. I’m scared either way it goes.