I’m a coward

I remember a time that I hung myself and woke up on the floor with a dog leash around my neck.

There was a specific point, in trying to end myself, that I knew I could still save myself. Choosing not to pull myself up and release myself took a lot of courage that I haven’t had since.

Since then, I tried putting a handgun to my head but couldn’t find the strength to pull the trigger. It was found in my nightstand while I was away from home, by someone who cares about me. What a joke.

I need to have that courage again one day soon. I would be killing myself right now, if I wasn’t such a coward.