Why?

I have a theory about it, but it’s dark. Endless pain would actually be easier to endure, it’s the things we love about life that cause us to suffer. The thing is when you lose something, you grip on tighter to what you have left, you are all the more aware of what you have left to lose, and life is going to take more, because life is cruel.

I mean but what’s the alternative, to focus on the pain, to give in to grief and avoid new attachment? avoid giving life anything new to take? I doubt it’s possible to deny life the opportunity, and also that isn’t really living. I tried waiting around for death for a few years, trying to off myself, I didn’t have any luck. The universe denied me the chance, I suspect you’ll be similarly denied.

Death comes in due time, when the story is over, and not at any time sooner.

It’s a life sentence to watch others die, and you’ve got to figure out how to endure that life sentence the same as the rest of us. Maybe 70 years, maybe 90, it’s not up to me or you. The good news is that a fair amount is already in the rearview mirror. There’s always someone struggling in ways that make you grateful that you aren’t in their shoes, I’ll say that.