I use to think they were my best friends.. and no matter what they did , no matter how bad it hurt me .. they didnt mean it.. but i was stupid and they knew my weakeness .. i forgave everyone .. no matter what they did .. cause i had a big heart and i thought everyone could change.
Let me give you a run down of everything thats happened up till this point? alright . Also if you have yet to read my other post “my story” i reccomend you do so you can get a feel for my situation.
Brittany
-put me in the hospital 3 times
- broke my nose (required surgery)
- hit me with knife ( required stiches)
- gave me a concusion
-have gotten in so many (physical) fights you could not believe. I would always just sit there and take it cause it ends quicker if you dont fight back
-cusses me out making me have low self esteem (calling me pathetic, ugly, worthless, saying she wouldnt care if i was dead)
– got me suspended for 5 days from school
(met in 4rth grade )
Kaitlyn
– has made me throw up in a fight cause she punched me in the stomach
– makes me have low self esteem
-threathens me and black mails me
(met in 3rd grade)
So i’ve been their friends for a while but those are only the negitive things i gotta give them credit they have been their a few times. Not many but when they are i feel so good about my self. They have the power to ruin me and support me. I dont know if any of you have felt like that… 😛
Theyre also both sucidal and cut to.
Brittany
– i possibaly think her dad abuses her
– i possibaly think anorexic
-has depression
Kaitlyn
– dad died
-depression
Me
-raped 2
- brother
- grandpa
-going to court for my case with my brother
-abused by mom (now have restraining order)
-depression, anxiety, ptsd , insomnia
-disowend by everyone in faimaly besides step mom and dad
(theirs more but im only going over the “major” problems
So i went sucidal the other day and i was gonna commit sucide with out telling anyone. My friend kaitlyn called so i awnsered
Kaitlyn: why are you crying?
me: im stressed..
Kaitlyn: then go take a nap
me: theirs a rope around my neck..
kaitlyn: your pathetic (hangs up)
(mind you the night before she went sucidal the other night cause someone she liked didnt like her back and carved a heart into her arm)
I felt so betrayed. she had left me..
She later texted me that night asking if i was still alive i said yes. She then told me her and brittany were done with my bullshit. I said fine. i didnt care i was planning on that being my last day alive anyways. She later started texting me off her moms phone pretending to be my x boyfriend. My friend emma from here who had helped me not commit sucide was on the phone with me and when this happened. Brittany and Kaitlyn then called me and we got into it. They said they never cared and hoped i got raped again. They then continued by telling me the next time they shall me they would shove my face in the dirt and kill me. ( i live in texas now and no longer in washington where they live but i would see them monthly but obviouslay i wont be doing that anymore 😛
I just wanna know how to move on cause this is not our first fight and usally everyother time i will break and apolagize to them (even thought i never did anything wrong) then we would be friends again . They would be nice to me for a day and then it was straight back to the mental and pyshcial abuse. :/ and dont go off telling me i’d be better off with out them i already know that. Now i wanna know how to do that and how to move on. Cause i let my self get wrapped aroun their finger and now i need to pull the knife that they stabbed in my back out. Please feel free to eave your suggestions… i need them
10 comments
i know how that feels to be used by friends… the easiest way to get over it to just accept that it happened it sucks but its over i dont have to deal with those people anymore i can move on and frineds who will truly care.
It makes me sad to think someone so young could have gone through so much shit.
Seriously your a tough cookie to still be here.
1. you need new and better friends. those other girls are to 13years oldish. there childish and moody, and everything is the end of the world. Were as you are much more mature for your age because of the things that have haped to you.
2. you dont have a mental illness, just crazy shit has happened to you. so you can get better. you need good old fashioned therapy.
What i mean is, if you could just forget all the crazy shit you would be fine, where as if you were mentally ill you would still be sad.
So the road to a better life.
Your gona have to find a way to deal with the past. Posting these posts is prob very good for you. now that you have written it all out can you see that bad stuff has happened to you yes. But not through your own doing.
You can be happy. Your young. You just need Guidence.
Find a person here who has been through something similar.
In fact almost anyone here will help you.
🙂 Your not alone. Chin up Kid.
thanks alot guys for your advice . the main reason i got on this site was for therapitc reasons and to share my story and hear from others who have been threw simlar situations that it WILL get better. Please keep in touch its helping me to recover so much 🙂
I feel bad now o.o
Since like your evil friends I’ve gotten my friends suspended
I think during my last suspension I ended up getting five or more friends suspended as well…You should definitely figure things out with them and if things don’t work out with them then find new friends as everyone else has said. Awwie I can relate to Kaitlyn I have those sad stupid moments where I get so hurt over something like that and end up carving things like that on myself…I’m mostly relating to the stuff being said instead of providing advice sorry :l
We all learn our lessons about people in our life. For this, I tell you BE NICE TO EVERYONE, but be CAREFUL who you let in into your private life. Not everybody should be trusted as not everybody is a GOOD PERSON. That is why you must be CAREFUL. I made the same mistakes as you, but I am trying NOT TO anymore. Realize that GOODNESS is there in people, but in different degrees. However, NEVER LET YOUR GOODNESS DISAPPEAR.
I am not going to be able to give perfect advice. I am more of a fight back and ruin their lives in return type person. I think you need to attain Zen though. Maybe do some research on Buddhism. I say this only because of the focus and peace it brings deeply troubled people… well everyone really. You do not need your friends, you may need friends but not them. Replace them. Hey there are tons of people on here who are more than capable of filling those roles.
You’re doing great so far Becca. I know it has been hard but you are strong enough. And I know I’ve said this before but I’m going to keep saying it so you never forget. I am your family now, and your friend. I love you and will always be here for you like you deserve.
Just hold on to that, whenever it gets really hard.
Talk to you tomorrow,
Emma
i know this is gonna sound bad but im their friends again .. they apolagized and everything and im not gonna trust them with things invovling my persanol live but i still love them to death even thought they hurt me. They also know how to make me feel great to
if they can make you feel great then they can tear you down… not sayin dont try and be friends with them but be very careful…
i will be i know what they can do now so i dont plan on letting it happen again