The past week has been really hard with a lot of things, and the past two days especially have been bad. It got to the point where the other night I tried to kill myself. Sadly it was a complete failure but my plan was to walk down to the main road near my house thats like a half mile away. Then i was gonna get myself hit by a car, it was going to be pretty easy. so It was like 2:00 when I went out. I sat on the side of the road for 2.5 hours. No cars came. It was a complete waste. I froze my ass out there for 3 hours for nothing. All I needed was just one car to come along. unfortunately no cars came and now I still have to live this horrible life.
My friend told me it was a sign from God. That he wants me to stay here and that he is not going to let me kill myself. I believe that more then the fact it was luck that no cars came. Now I have this feeling… I feel like… that I know I am going to live to be really old. I don’t like it. I don’t want to live. I really don’t. I just want this to be over. I don’t want God to not let me die.
2 comments
Autocide often fails, you can end up paralyzed or any number of injuries that will make your life worse.
I thought about 18 wheelers, yet realize that there is a human being driving that truck that will have to live with that all his/her life.
I had note saying it wasn’t there fault. I would make it so i don’t fail.