I am basically a very anxious person.It’s like I am always expecting something terrrible to happen.My shrink says that I suffer from Obsessive compulsive disorder.Anxiety hurts me a lot and I sometimes feel that I really need to die in order to end this terrible miserable life.I really feel the end is near.
23 comments
HI, has your therapist explained to you, that fear and obsessing is about the future, it’s not happening, it’s only something you are conjuring in your head based on the foundation provided for you by your parents. I imagine you had a rocky childhood and didn’t feel well nurtured. Nothing against your folks, but it is quite common for many of us to be hyper-vigilant. It’s not your fault, nor are you an obsessive compulsive.
You don’t need a label to add to your already present anxiety. Because you want to attract wellness, think of yourself as well, and that you are perfectly normal. When thoughts arise, you don’t need to judge them, just let them pass.
Take a look at your childhood, all answers lie there. You said it yourself…YOU are always expecting something terrible to happen. Okay, if that thought comes up, there is no need to engage the thought…allow yourself to let it be. Because out of all the thoughts you’ve had, you’re till here, your heart is beating…realize you can be in charge when you choose to bed. Make a decision within yourself you want those thoughts to stop and make another decision that you want to feel good…write it down….and intend it, be purposeful about it. You will help yourself feel much better. Everyone, including you deserves to feel well. Good luck!
Couple of typos in my reply.
Hi,thanks for your comment.I really appreciate it.
The problem is I seem to have lost the control of my mind.
All kinds of fearsome thoughts come and go in my head and there’s nothing I can do to stop them.
My shrink has prescribed tranqualizers for me but they don’t help much and they have side effects.He says a particular part of my brain is dysfunctional.I don’t know how much longer I can cope with this nightmare.
Hmm ok … anxiety can be treated two ways …. talking about stuff and yep starting on lw grade meds …have u spoken to a proper therapist?
All thoughts have an external trigger and we should try be aware of what it is that triggers our thoughts….
Softsoul makes some vg points … i like it.
Just remember, our thoughts especially about the future arent real rather they are imagined, worst case scenarious if you will … but still our imagination. Its like watching a scary movie and then acting on it in real life? The movie isnt real and nor is ur imaginings about the fufure.
Start with ‘trying’ to be more positive and also being aware these thoughts arent actually real …more like a silly movie imagining the worst.
Hope you get better. But def go talk to a therapist or gp might be able to recommend one?
Hey, I could not relate to you more right now. I have been suffering with extreme anxiety since June and it’s taking over and ruining my life. I’ve always been quite an anxious person but never anything like this before. I can’t breathe, I’m scared on my own heart beat and I feel like I have no control anymore. I can’t leave the house and I never have anyone to talk to no one understands just how bad anxiety can be a lot of people just think you’re a bit scared and you can get over it and deal with it on your own. This is so far from the truth. I’ve been seeing a psychologist since September and he’s made no difference. I’m always expecting the worst and always think something bad is going to happen allllllll the time so I know exactly how you feel and it’s horrible. I know I can’t give much advice cause I’m still struggling horribly with it but the one thing I do believe is that breathing is a huge part of it and if you can get your breathing correct you will feel much better, it’s the one thing I’m trying to focus on most. I’m also about to try hypnosis since I’ve heard that works and I’m willing to try anything now. Good luck and I’m always here to talk if you need someone.
Hi lonelygirl,
I wonder what caused your anxiety to get worse in the first place.I agree with you that breathing plays an important role.
Sometimes I am so anxious and depressed that I dream about using a shotgun to destroy my brain or jumping down a skyscraper to my death.I have come to believe that death is the only thing that may provide me with peace of mind.
I have always been a very anxious person.Even during my childhood,I had many dreadful thoughts in my head.
Now I have officially been given the label “Obsessive Compulsive” and I take tranquilizers to calm myself down.But I’m still on the verge of committing suicide.
I hope we can keep in touch with each other.
There were a whole bunch of things that made it like this. I was in Ireland working in a bar and I loved that so much I was making up to £40 tips a night then I got moved to the bistro and I really really cannot handle working with food, I’m not a big eater so the smells of everything were making me sick. The restaurant was tiny and I’m very claustrophobic. I hated it I felt pressured and judged cause I was terrified carrying the plates, it was just a nightmare but I stuck it out for 8 weeks cause I didn’t want to let my manager down even though she treated me like shit the whole time. My diet was awful I was living with my cousin and I felt bad eating her food even though I was paying rent so I wasn’t eating properly at all. Then at the same time, I had a holiday booked to Portugal so I had to fly back home to Glasgow by myself, three days rushing to get organised then flew to Portugal with my friends. I was drinking insanely for the whole week just having fun as ye do on holiday. Then I was home for three days and back to Ireland for work. I was at work for another week before I left cause I was having chest pains with the stress. Blah blah blah cutting out the rest my mum and dad came over and took me home on the boat the same day. I can’t drink anymore when I used to love it and all I do is lie in bed or on the couch all day. I’m so desperate to get over this and back to normal. More than anything I want to do Camp America this year but I really don’t know how it’s ever going to happen. I just feel totally alone and don’t see a way out anymore.
I was also very anxious as a child I was scared of a lot of things and used to have child night terrors but no one ever did anything about it, doctors ignored it. I haven’t been diagnosed with it or anything but I definitely have small signs of OCD and have for years, just small things.
Last year all I could think of was killing myself just to get out if everything (I suffered a great deal with depression) but now even with all this going on, I really wish I could convey how strongly against it I am. Life is so messed up but you’re still alive, there’s still so much to see and do if we can just keep fighting and trying. I know it’s not easy trust me but the time I had in Ireland before I got hit with this was the most fun I’ve had in years. Things can get better just have to keep going. ( s’what I’m trying to tell myself anyway)
But yeah I would like to stay in touch swell 🙂
I also meant to say I have a huuuuuuuuuge fear of flying so I think that was what tipped me over the edge.
Hi again,
first I want to say that I was happy to see that you left me a comment.Now I feel less lonely.
compared to me,you have a relatively acceptable life.
You have overcome your urge to commit suicide.That means there’s hope in your life.OCD has devastated my life.Clearly my brain doesn’t work properly.I don’t know if it’s possible for me to have an acceptable standard of living.For me,OCD has become a significant disability.
I still remember the first time I suffered a severe OCD episode.I was 16 and I realized I just couldn’t a very dreadful and scary thought out of my head.It was the thought of me attacking my family with knives.It was such an absurd thought ,but I constantly felt as if I was about to stab my mother and my sisters.It was just horrible and I had to take a lot of medications in order to get rid of this fearsome intrusive thought.
I’m still on medications and OCD still haunts me every day and I have no idea how this miserable life can possibly be worth living.
I’m glad you replied as well 🙂
That sounds terrible, really. I’ve read other people having thoughts like that but I could never imagine what it would be like. Before if someone had described the way I feel now to me I just wouldn’t have understood which is kinna why I don’t blame others for not getting how bad it is. This might not help and you might not even try it but google the Charles Linden Method and really check it out. It’s for OCD and anxiety he’s really good he suffered horribly with it and has now helped hundreds of thousands of people. I got the package a few months ago but I didnt focus on it correctly.
Anyway my main reasons for wanting to comment again was that tonight, and I was very very synical before hand. But tonight I went to this hypnotherapist, nothing that I have tried so far and I’ve tried loads, nothing has helped the way he did and I’m going back on Monday. It wasn’t proper out cold in a trance thing just talking and a few wee exercises but he was really good. The most calm I’ve felt in months. He too suffered with anxiety and bi-polar and he told me if it hadnt been for this thing he does now he wouldn’t still be here but he was so glad he did. He was so positive and told me I WILL get over this and I honestly believe you will too. Hope I’m some kind of help.
Have you been upto much recently? Are you at school or college?
Hope to hear from you soon and please remember as silly as it sounds things will get better.
Yes,you’re right.You can’t know how a particular mental illness really feels like ,until you yourself suffer from it.
But I think I know how you feel ,because I myself am a very anxious person and I am familiar with anxiety.
Before OCD really caused my life to fall apart,I used to buy and read some books about this illness.Now my shrink says that I shouldn’t read such books because the more I study about OCD,the more I suffer from it.But I will use Google to search for what you recommended to me anyway.
I’m happy to hear that you have finally found something that works for you .You are so full of hope.I kind of envy you.
Before OCD really attacked my brain,I used to have a pretty normal life,but after that ,I was unable to complete my higher education and I lost my job too.In the past five years ,I’ve been going through this shattered life.
Although my situation is pretty bad,I’m still hopeful about finding a proper job in the near future.
I really hope that you overcome your anxiety,because it sounds to me that you have the potential to lead a good life.
I really appreciate the comments you leave for me.Thanks a lot…
story really piqued my interest….i was put on diazepam by the age of 2 for night terrors….social anxiety…etc…i am 50 now….never thought i would make it….but here i am……the part of your brain that is wonky is the amygdala imo…..was this what they said?….some of us are just born this way…..no way to explain it….the amygdala is a remnant of the amphibian brain….seems to be making a comeback in the evolutionary process…..more and more of us are dealing with these issues…..this is the part of the brain that deals with fight or flight….necessary when we were cavemen….lol…..so why does it seem to becoming necessary again…..hmmmm
first the anxiety and social dysfunction….then the depression and OCD (control issue for sure)….and if someone messes you up in the meantime as so often happens…..there’s always PTSD….alot of folks are being diagnosed with bi/polar…..not my situation….no mania here folks…..just down and downer…..
that being said…..there is hope….there is help…..you just have to learn how to control your own responses to stimuli…..the world unfortunately isn’t just going to go away or get better…..but you can
also because of the over reactive amygdala….drug therapy often does not help….and some things can be dangerous….such as general anaesthetic etc…your brain already produces too much epinephrine…..just check it out…..and know you are not as alone as you often feel….
Namaste
Trust when I say it will. If u just listen, you might of been told there’s no easy way to stop exesisive amounts of stress and anxcity well there wrong now before I tell you how and you write me off as a happy go lucky christain with his head up his ass listen to my story. My child hood was anything but easy groing up with 5 brothers you are nothing alike not to say we always fought all the time but thats not really important. I am almost 19 now, when I was 12 I was already stressing alot I came up in a christain home with parents who had an easy child hood. And must have long ago forgot what it was like to grow up neadless to say they have never been any help with this and have often called me a child or a baby for being so emotionally distraght. Exept my dad who thought there was something more wrong, so he puts me in a mintle home when I was 15 because he thought well he’s nothing like me he’s full of stress already he must be crazy. By the way I was the youngest and my dad had never had these problems with all 4 Older brothers. Back to the point growing up In my teens expecally I had no one to talk to and beleave me I didn’t want to tell any one I knew, how I felt in fear I would be humiliated the same way my family made me feel for being so full of anxiety and stress so i turned to drugs coke, x, xanex bars any thing to distort the awful reality I lived in. From ages 13 to 16 I did heavy drugs often even when I realized It was making it all worse so bad I’m lucky to be here I’m supriseed I did not pull the trigger so many times before. I’m so glad I didn’t I now love life, my god, and my girl freind. My point is after all the drugs I did at a young!! Age that I felt I had really screwed up my entire body and would always feel this way but now, even when I quite smoking cigs and doing drugs I was still suffering with anxity for years struggling to make it though. So trust me when j say if I can do u it you can to. Get rid off your doctor I don’t care what they have told you get off the medication I’m sure they have you on and try not to kill your self in the process just here me out try a life of working out and eating right takingtk chemicals no mater what your doctor says pills will only make your anxiety worse with time they are a temporary fix that rarely works for a permenate problem. Now you might already be to this point living normally and still have anxiety, trust me ive been there I tell you all this so u know where to start
So trust me I’ve been there I tell you this so u know where to start now or hope fully your already clear minded with no drugs or Chemicles on your life. Now here’s my cure you still might think I’m crazy and it is not an instant fix it does take time but the only way to truly feel a peace in your life is through god!!! Trust me I’ve tried it all other methods worth make it worse you must submit your life trust in god pray and I understand u say u don’t feel any different at first!! god only reavels him self to you if u really feel sorry and want to live right and want to find a peace in your life. He will restore you its so simple to feel hole again and trust me I’m not crazy I’m highly inteligent and so are you it’s why you stress and worry so much but take my word and submit to Jesus he will heal you. I hope this helps if any one has any question I will elaborate for you just send me an email at (braddavidson1621@gmail.com)
Just admit you were wrong and dont be shy break down in front of god let him know you’ve been wrong and want to change he will fill you full of a peace from here on out just live pray and read his word. And if u want to commit and say u can prove god dosent exsist don’t bother I can prove you wrong down to the smallest mater of science. Besides it should be enough for you to look at this world and universe and know that all this life did not Come from nothing!!!! And there is a god!! The people who denie this and come up with theories around being a god simply have been blinded by the devil or do not want to sumbit to god and live life right!
By the way I had night terrors to as a child all of the time they can’t prove what causes them but my theory is the very real devil and his servants are borthing you because they know god has a great plan for you and want to stop you any way possible the devil is skared of you he knows you have the power of god behinds you and you skare him. Rather this is the cause of night terrors or not it is still very true !
Death apeal I read your commit just now and want to say ive had those same bizare thoughts of harming one I thought I loved I have been there I’ve tried to fix all those fear with exesive amounts of drugs and web I say alot I mean it I had to go around at night and steal things like wallets and gps out of cars just to buy drugs because I already suffered from anxcity but all I did was horrible mess my body up worse ad when I managed to stop drugs these feelings and thoughts got worse my doctor said I was suffering from all the things you are its all bullshit I’ve got passed it and now live normally if u want to talk email me at braddavidson1621@gmail.com I hate to hear someone going though what I did you can get passed this I promise and can help you. God bless you I feel like I know you already.
By the way death appeal you probley want to harm your family Belize of how sad and stressed you are and it might seem like they dont care because unless there going through what you are they will never understand you are not crazy you are normal your just smart and worry alot email me I’ll explain farther any thing u want to know.. by the way read my other 5 commits above.
By the way if you get to the point you want to kill your self don’t just smoke some pot I’m not saying to use this as a permant solution but it is not bad for you and can get rid of your stress and anxcty infact with out this miracle plant I would of killed my self before I found the lord. God bless
You all!!!!
And if anyone lives in Dallas Tx and just really needs some one to talk to email me I just want to help you all feel beter I understand so much of what u go though braddavidson1621gmail.com
Hi ,I hope you are fine.thanks a lot for your comments.I really appreciate your kindness and your concern for me.
Unfortunately,I haven’t been able to read your comments carefully ,due to certain problems.But I promise I will read them carefully later.
I used to be a Christian ,but my faith in Christ didn’t help me to have a better life.(It may have actually contributed to the deterioration of my life) and unlike many people,it seems that I am unable to find peace of mind in spirituality or religion.
Recently ,I prayed and asked God for guidance and assistance.
By the way ,if you are 19 years old,then you still need to learn many things and have many experiences.
Thanks again
Bye.
I read your story about the time you got ‘anxiety disorder’ I honestly think you lacked nutrition and you stressed your body too much. See, people tend to assume that when you drink, you feel better, which is true but later you feel horrible plus you were not eating well. I think you started lacking nutrition. Also, get your female hormones checked! Stop eating carbs/sugar, cut all of that out and start with fish, chicken, veggies, and eat every two hours, small snacks. I got night terrors as a child, too but it happened after I ate sugar before bed. Still happens to this day so I cut out sugar. If I even eat cereal, I’ll have sleep problems the next night. I had sleep paralysis tonight, I saw my fiance across from me on the couch and screamed his name, put out my hand and couldn’t even move. I also had too much sleep. Sleep in a dark room, too with light music.
Also, the drinking bit- You weren’t eating properly so you probably developed or already had reactive hypoglycemia and drinking causes hypoglycemia.