The idea of actually going through with suicide has never crossed my mind until this very moment… I mean you think about it but yearning it is a very different feeling. I’m not afraid of the pain, it can’t hurt as bad as what I’m going through and yes I know, people on this site and out in the world have a lot more problems than I do. Hell, if I could, I would fix everyone’s problems, no one should worry about having no money, losing a job, not being able to afford food or water, being sick or worse yet losing someone. No one should have to deal with rape or murder, death or disease. I wish I could fix everything. Everything, not only my problems. The world would be perfect.
There wouldn’t be blood stained sheets or self-inflicted wounds. The world isn’t perfect; it never will be, so why should I fight to keep my place in it? Struggle… it’s a fight and a struggle to survive, I’m not afraid to struggle. I want, to work for mine and earn all the things in life.  I just want one chance. One chance to prove it that I can do it but nothing. Nothing…
I’m just ranting, it’s late and I’m mad. I don’t think this post makes sense but I’m tired of bottling things up. Good night everyone.
2 comments
Its good that you can get it out there… everyone on this site feels at least a little like this.
I could have written this. I wish I could articulate a realisation I had one crazy day but I find it so hard, but the crux was, suicide is pointless. It’s not an end from pain, not to sound too hard, but if you kill yourself, pain will be the last thing you experiece, pain and desperation, and that’s not an escape, it’s not a solution.. It just.. I don’t know..