Rather then use big words, swear words, a lot of detail, or correct spelling. Im just going to try to get my story heard. This will be long and you won’t understand till the end… I’m soon to be 16 in march 2012 and unusally depressed in my opinion. If anyone reads my post I would like your opinion, although you may not agree with my writings because of my age. To set things straight! I’m not lying, or exaggerating, and I truely feel the way I will be explaining my life.
Its Perfect
     Maybe in others eyes of who I told of my problems, they seem weak. I can only explain so much of how I feel without writing a book. I have told my dearest friends “I am depressed” they all say the same things: “I’m sorry, is there a way I can help?”, or “I’m sorry, what is troubling you?” In this post, I’m going to explain my answers to these questions and why I chose those answers.
    I’ve actually answered these questions a multitude of times, each time I get closer to what I really want to say. Although I may not be writing this post for you and may not answer the original questions, I definitely hope I can discover something about myself in this journey.
    You need to know me. I’ve already said my age, nearly 16. My family is rich, I have everything and can get anything. I live in a society where the rich are rare, and the more money you have the more popular you are. I was in 9th grade last year, living the best teen age life possible. My parents are leeniant and I can get away with anything. I had countless amounts of friends, I was the god of my generation. I am very athletic, I have 0% fat. Brown hair blue eyes, 5′ 10″, I weigh 135 pounds, and haven’t eaten fast food since 7th grade… If any other teen looked at me they would secretly wish they had my body and my life.
    This year in 10th grade is where you can see the effect of my depression. I still weigh the same, I have yet to eat fast food, I am 6 feet tall, still rich, and still athletic. Here’s where things change. Thank God!
This is how I came to be depressed.
    Through out my life, I’ve been perfect. I did not have any troubles from anyone or anything to stop me. But myself… After realizing I have experienced everything, had every material item, done every physical activity and more then most wish for. I had no more goals. I personally decided to learn how to be better then everyone else (BY FAR!) who dared to challenge me in any way.
    My father took speech classes to learn how to pursuade and talk in person for his work. He then was better then me in speech. I then decided to take a modeling course on how to present yourself and talk in person. I personally trained myself every other aspect of speech. I now am an amazing talker and I can’t stress enough on how my above average speech has saved me in many ways.
    My best friend and I are together on our school soccer team. He strived to be the best player possible on the team and this was not hard to see, he trained hard and worked out a lot. So my response was, I started eating even more healthier, I started to drink a special drink called monavie and this drink is fanominal. It does so much for you it’s unbelievable. My eye sight is so wildly enhanced that my numbers are 15 15 vision, I have never been sick since I have been drinking this, I never ache or get sore. AND! I have an endless well of energy. I worked twice as hard as my best friend and accomplished a faster speed, a farther kick, and more energy. In short, the best soccer player.
    My second best friend strived to be the best gamer. He is not so athletic. He may weigh as much as three times my weight, and does not play any sports. What he does is play World of Warcraft. I don’t know if any of you play this game, but I sure as hell am now at pro level, I am argueably one of the top players of all time and definitely better then my friend. I am working on the hardest mode (heroic) just for the pure compitision it throws at me while he is working on normal. I refuse to play on any othe rlevel then heroic, for they are insufficient. I don’t have much more to say then my intelletual abilities are greater. I have a better thought process and reaction timing.
I am the perfect talker.
The perfect athletic.
The perfect decision maker.
and I have perfect abilities of every kind.
I may have lost you in the paragraphs before. But this is my problem.
I am Perfect…
     I am lost… I hurt everyday because I cannot find anything or anyone like me.
I literally get sick over things that are not perfect. I stopped eating dinner with my family do to their lack of table manners. I stay away from everyone and do not like being touched. I will literally throw up to the smell of fast food. I HATE fat people, or anyone who has the slighest fat, and it kills me to say this. The ONLY girl who I know that does not have any fat… does not like me…
    I am depressed because I cannot find the perfect mate, the perfect friend, the perfect anything… I have SO much hate that I cannot stand it. I feel like I’m being torn appart and now all I want to do is die to get away from everything that sickens me. I would rather die then live in this world that I can’t stand.
16 comments
Intolerance is a hard thing to have and a hard thing to live with. I understand why you’re depressed. You’re perfection is torturing you, you’ve tried to be the best all your life, and now you are. In your eyes, you have no flaws. Therefore, the people around you who are flawed, are not good enough. There is nothing wrong with this, I mean, it may be annoying to a lot of people, and a little offensive, but you’ve always been this way, this is who you are and you cannot help it. You’ve been given everything, and now everything isn’t enough.
Thanks. I’m glad you see it that way.
Maybe you could become a personal trainer or something. Then you can help turn all the fat people into fine tuned athletes. Get a membership at a good gym or health club and you’re sure to find the ripped low fat woman of your dreams sooner or later.
I saw one of my old friends at the store. I don’t even want to talk about how mad I was that she had gained weight. I’m getting to be so bad that I am judging myself, recently I’ve been trying to lose weight and be under 135 pounds. I think it’s too much.
Nothing wrong with having low body fat as long as you retain some muscle mass . try strength training to keep some mass while keeping the fat low. you need 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight in your daily diet as a rule of thumb to retain and or build muscle though. ask your fat friends if they’d like to workout with you or play some soccer etc. help get them in shape too. you helping them might actually make you feel better about yourself. don’t say , damn you’re getting fat girl! you need to workout with me. say hey, why don’t you go jogging with me or lets go play soccer or something. motivate them.
I can hardly look at non perfect people. I don’t even like being touched by people I find non apealing.
Sorry but you disgust me. Must be that you’re just too damn “perfect.”
In an earlier comment I said it was impossible to diagnose someone from a post, especially not being doctors and all. Well, you have proved that wrong in your case. Read all about it at:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
And in the meantime maybe go back to looking in the mirror and puking about all your skinny-obese friends because this is a site about suicide and I have a feeling you are too in love with yourself to mess up that pretty boy body of yours. Gag.
What does perfect mean? It’s a construct. The truth is – you’ve been brainwashed. You’ve sucked up all the nonsense put about by fashion-mongers and style magazines about what constitutes perfect. You’re judging the people in your life by a set of exterior values that bear no relation to them or who they are or what they believe or how they act. That’s pretty sad. It makes you pretty imperfect to me.
Oh, I dunno, maybe I should be more sensitive seeing as your post DOES indicate you have serious issues, and I admit, it does sound like you’re in your own kind of hell, which I have sympathy for…but there are people on this site cutting themselves for their body image problems for fucks sake, just makes me kinda mad to have that all fed into…
I for one dig fat chicks 🙂 and skinnies too, it’s all good.
Oh, you might have some OCD issues as well.
Hm. Wish I could shake your hand because I have never in my life met a “perfect” human being. Congratulations. Or not.
Every year science progresses further along. Your best bet is human cloning. I’m assuming you’re a male; you need to clone a female version of yourself and produce offspring. Humanity will end in a couple of generations.
Zero% body fat? If you had no fat you’d be dead.
If you’re 16, YOU are not rich. Your parents are rich. You probably haven’t done a goddam thing to contribute to the familys wealth. The best thing that could happen to you is having your dad kick you out & cut you off once you turn 18. Let’s see how perfect you are then.
Have you ever seen a movie called “Idiocracy”? Thats what your post reminded me of. Thanks for the laughs.
Hi. You sound like you have OCD. Or something like that anyway. Talk to a shrink about this, you can’t live a life this way.
You cannot find the perfect mate? You are 16. Too young. I do not think you are a guy. 135 at 5″10? You sound miserably bored. Sorry, no one can live up to your expectations. Maybe if you tried to find hobbies and enjoy life more. It must be nice not to have to struggle at anything. I guess i cannot relate and i wish i could.
After reading this post, I wished I was back in High School. I’d punch this guy in the solar plexus everyday. His Englsh is also far from perfect. (Perfect Talker? Shouldn’t it be perfect speaker)?
Oh you are a boy. I guess you do not weigh much because you are 16.
Life isn’t perfect… And you’re too young to even be thinking about the ‘perfect mate’ – everything wll fall into place for you one day. But, and I say this in the nicest way possible, you have to stop thinking about yourself.