what should i do??

Sometimes family can be the worst ones to try to confide something of this nature to. They make a joke out of it because they don’t know how to react to something like this. Sometimes talking to someone else is a viable option. I would suggest before making a decision such as this, you try to get some help. Since you obviously can’t talk to your family, I would suggest talking to someone else, even if its a suicide hotline, at least you get to talk to someone. Suicide is a permanent solution, and your family will think what they think if you do it. If you are set on ending it, why do you care what they think after you’re gone?

On the other hand, there may be a solution to your problem that you have not thought of yet. Talking to someone, be it a teacher (if you are in school), or a minister, may get the ball rolling in the right direction. These people may not be able to help you directly, but they will hopefully be able to get you in touch with someone that can help you. Sometimes you just have to break down the barriers that are keeping you from the help that you need.