This demon deep within me. I can feel it coming out again. All I want is to be high out of my mind all day everyday. That or just kill myself. I was all about being clean but now I just don’t care and can’t wait to get my hands on some drugs. Well in a few days I’ll be trippin so I am waiting for that day to come. Then I’ll decide if drugs will be enough or not even worth bothering with again. I don’t know where this is all coming from. I was getting so much better. I was happy to be alive. But of course, that only lasted about a week or 2. Now I’m low and getting worse. I know something bad is coming my way. I’ve felt this before and things got bad, real bad. I’m so sick of dealing with this shit. Being happy sounds like it just isn’t for me. It never will be. I just want it all to end.
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You sound bipolar, go get yourself checked 🙂
no one said it’d be easy, and if they did they’re an idiot. Mastering your body, putting what you know in your mind to be correct before your biology is one of the oldest struggles that mankind faces. What’s your poison and what was your initial reason for wanting to quit? I’m 3 years deep into soft stuff, just green. I’d like to quit but I have no reason to and the drug offers what I’m not getting from those around me. Why not stay on drugs? They’re harmful yes, but so is everything else, from coffee to white bread. Narcotics get you to the grave faster but that’s where we’re supposed to end up. Point is, you decide how you’d like to live through the human experience, no one else. If you wanna stay hopped up on goof balls, that’s your decision. You just have to be prepared to live with the consequences of your actions. Do you want the drugs and consequences or to try living “sober” again and integrating back into society (I put sober in quotes because most people are on something: caffeine, medications, white sugar, tv; we’re all hooked on something(s))
I have been diagnosed with major depression and that’s what I’m being treated for. I don’t know if I’m bipolar. I’ve had a few extreme ups and downs but not that often, which could have been caused by medication. They just upped my dosage too so…who knows
@tphg
I mainly smoked marijuana as well, but I also did pills. Any that I could get my hands on every once in awhile. I wanted to quit because it was making me really unmotivated and I was trying to get “better†and I actually was for a bit. But I’m going to start doing shrooms real soon
Hey cheerio it can take years to be diagnosed bipolar although if you get manic on antidepressants that is a marker.how old are you?if you dont mind me asking drugs can mask bipolar so good luck with that one i used to take drugs but they just made me psychotic and id end up trying to off myself and end up in hospital. My advice to you would be bring it up woith your dr and there are online tests to see if you think you fit the profile there are five dgrees of bipolar so who knows you yourself sound like you think it may be possable.i know and understand what you are saying about the depressions it hurts just to be alive and i go to bed for days when im like that…thankfully after alot of trial and error i have found a moodstabilizer that i can tollerate i was ready to give up too..good luck but drugs make things worse not better…i used to love being stoned but ive been away from that for 20 years i still drink but im aware that it makes me a handful so i keep it low intake i wish you well whatever you deside im here to chat youll find my email in the comments bar on your thread..
I am 17 years old. I’ve only gotten extreme highs which followed with being extremely low twice which started 8 months ago and they were only a few months apart. I was wondering at one time if I was bipolar but I just don’t know and I’m honestly not too worried about it. I believe it was just from medication. I have done a few online tests for bipolar when I was extremely manic and it said that I was bipolar. My psychologist doesn’t believe that I am though so I am going to take her side on this one.
That’s great that you finally found a medication that works for you 🙂 I believe I have found one too.
I use to be stoned everyday just about 24/7 when I first started. I loved it. But I think I’m going to take it easy this time around. Thanks for wishing me good luck 🙂 I need it.