I cut myself again today. New blade and everything, it’s been a while, so I guess I forgot how sharp they were, or maybe I just wasn’t fully in control. It doesn’t matter now, cause i’ve got 12 new stitches and spent the last half hour cleaning blood off the damn floor.
I know that should be disappointed in myself, because I went so long without it, but I’m not. I’m relieved because atleast now I can focus. I know in the morning I am going to be all out pissed at myself, but right now I just don’t care. Because this is the best I have felt all damn day.
Now that I’ve started I sure I’m not gonna stop. It’s so addicting. It’s so perfect.
God, what have I done?
2 comments
i feel really bad today too.i’m freaking out,it’s like the pressure is just building and building. I can understand wanting that release from the pressure. i’m so sorry your struggling.:( i guess we just don’t give up.theres always a new day. things can get better.i’m really sorry your hurting. i wish i could help. 🙁 just remember,your not alone.
I hope whatever is bothering you gets better. When you first cut you just really dont care, like its a sense of relief, and then the day or 2 after you regret doing it because u r left with these open cuts, but then the next time something happens you do it again? Im starting to wonder even for myself why this happens?