One day, not too long ago, I decided I didn’t want to exist anymore.
So, I decided to take care of my own problem. I found that I was too chicken to make it happen myself, though.Â
I thought about having someone else take care of it for me.  But, no one wanted to go spend half their lives in jail, in order to help me out.
Maybe, I thought, if I was careless enough, Karma would take care of it for me. But, Karma, being the ***** that she is, didn’t do squat for me.
Finally, I thought if I prayed hard enough to God, that He might make it happen. But, His Self-imposed, non-interference directive (a.k.a., free will) killed any hope of that.
I’m all out of ideas now. I’m back to square one. My desire to not exist anymore still exists. Anyone have any ideas?  I’m fresh out…
1 comment
I’m kinda in the same position. Can’t come up with the nerve to do it myself no matter how miserable I am. So like many people who have given up, I sleep a lot, and drink as much as I can when I’m awake. For a long time now I thought I was headed for the lifestyle like the people you see on intervention TV shows where they are broken souls, not so much addicted to their substance of choice as they are addicted to trying to escape the miserable pain in their hearts. I guess my premonition came true, I hardly ever drank up until this point in my life, now it’s probably 5-6 days a week, would be every day if I could afford it. This is miserable. It should be simple. We should be able to ask a higher power (if there is one) for a painless exit from this world, in exchange for someone else who would still like to be here. I watch the news and hear about a kid dying from getting hit by a baseball, someone’s family members dying in a car accident, and I think I should have been able to go instead, and let those people stay.