I’ve lived my life in ignorant bliss untill 7th grade. This is when my life started a down turn into the turmoil im in. I’ve been through constant bullshit, 80% of the fucking people arround me hating me or lacking the sheer respect to keep their fucking hate to themselves. Now im a junior and its gone from that retatded fag, to that fucking freak. Im not gay, and because im different, and im not “normal” like you and your friends and everyone else makes me a outcast. Embrace our uniqueness they tell you, fuck them! I want it to stop, it would be a god send to return these bastards the favor, maybe not mentally but physicaly, a pair of bolt cutters for fingers and cork screw for the eyes……but I cant do that im the bad person, im failing highschool, I want to die, I want to kill….
4 comments
I have never been the type to tell people that forgiveness is the answer. My suggestions are 1) learn fighting and work out 2) Put a roll of quarters in your hand and knock them out 3) or there are these black gloves and when you hit somthing with them it shocks like a taser, Hit with that they fall down knocked out you hide gloves. Also get them to attack you first.
Unless they actually physically attack you, just ignore it.
If they do attack you then you can take Wolfenstein’s route and/or you can call in the authorities for assault charges.
You could also sue for defamation possibly but that would be a hard one to prove given you are in high school and most sort of accept those things as hard knocks.
In my day attacking bullies worked very well because they were a different breed then. If you attack them today it might spur them to do worse to you later.
Whatever your choice be vigilant.
I feel ya..big time. We don’t like to feel pain so we get angry, at least that’s the behaviour I learned & it worked for a lot of my life..but not now and for me it feels better to feel whatever & use my understanding to serve me as things go along because you’re the one carrying around the anger and frustration…and well I’d feel the same for sure. Definitely, if someone is constantly in your face action needs to be taken & you’ll know given the situation.
Important to remember that, anything negative anyone has to say about anyone is all about them…like ‘I know you are but what am I’…kids have this built in, but for some reason we get trained out of this cause we think our behaviour is supposed to please other people, generally speaking. At this point if anyone said anything to me, I’d laugh…cause I know who & what I am, & what you resist, persists. Obviously it’s up to you how to best deal with what’s going on. I look back on the times when I was made fun of as character building times & any anger I held on to was just me drinking poison & expecting the other person to die. Just make a decision about how you feel is best to deal with things internally or externally and feel good about it so you have peace. All the best!
Ha, This sounds exactly like me in school.
I hated every day so much. I wanted to die and the only thing that made me happy all day was when i imagined killing others, didn’t even have to be people i know, people that made me angry.
Thinking about hurting them gave me confidence every day and i didn’t change for anyone.
Your situation may be different but i found when i became confident (even though sometimes i felt so empty and fragile inside) and completely ignored them, they stopped. How could they call me pathetic and weird when i gave them no ammo?
Plus when you give them a look so creepy like you knew how to kill them and get away with it. They back off.
Although our situations may be different. It was still complete and utter hell every day.
But the moment i left school, it got better. This experience makes you stronger. I promise!
My friends tell me now that i have this confidence that suggests that i could handle myself in conflict. And they are right. I have the skills because that is how i survived for years.
You are more powerful then you realise. You’re different, but that is what makes you better than them!
I hope this post wasn’t too anecdotal and you understand that violence isn’t always the answer. You’re powerful, remember that!