I’m missing something..
An affectionate friend relieves it momentarily
Achievements feel great until the end of the day
Those are the good days
Other times I want to finish off what’s left of me
And there isn’t much..
share your suicide story
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4 comments
affection is weird. i get the same thing from some animals, mostly dogs or horses. do you get it from animals sometimes too? the little blocks of something nice or being okay isn’t enough. even one thousand affectionate friends at regular intervals doesn’t stop making the bad things bad. having some okay things doesn’t cancel the bad ones. sometimes it’s hard to keep perspective when the pickles are low sodium.
Dogs actually provide it consistently; whereas with friends it can be a hit or miss. But should the day come where I get the better of myself, I don’t want to leave a dog wondering.
My dogs are my life they make me wanna keep going in the dark moments their unconditional love is what keeps my spirits high
i like that reasoning. makes me think of the stories of the dogs who wait for years for their dead owners to return. there’s even a section on wikipedia about some of the stories http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_famous_dogs#Faithful_dogs.
i had a block of about eight years that was really pleasant and then my psychiatric psymptoms came back. i liked those eight years even though i hate now. i wonder if the dog would like the good parts or if the balance would be in the negative after having to deal with the loss of an owner. my psychiatrist brings her dog to our appointments. it’s super nice. my mom just got a new dog for her 60th birthday. she’s going to come and visit in a couple of weeks. that will be nice too. my wife has three cats. they’re weird.
people certainly are hit or miss even when they are the kindest most loving most well intentioned ones. humans are confusing and yucky.
do you have any furry friends?