I have never felt that I have belonged in this world. Â I grew up Mormon and am gay. Â I am NOT condemning the Mormon church at all in any way; I am just saying that was difficult to grew up in being who I am and therefore don’t feel like I belong there. Â That being said, I don’t feel like I belong to the whole gay “scene”. Growing up Mormon has influenced this I know. Â I know I haven’t explained this too well but I am just trying to give a glimpse of how there are two very different worlds and I belong in neither.
This past year has been the hardest challenge of my life with relationships, career, etc. and I see no “light” in the future. Â Being that I am 23 I am told that things will get better. Â I have been patient and have waited and waited and nothing has changed…only my thoughts of suicide becoming stronger. Â To me this seems to be the “light”. Â My mother has told me that she does pray for me and said that when she does she is given a sense a peace. Â I don’t doubt that she is given a feeling. Â However, my mother and I may view “peace” in very different ways.
3 comments
Hey Larkin.
I grew up Mormon too, and have broken away from it while the rest of my family still believes. I can see how growing up and being gay would definitely create some hardship…
How do you mean “scene” – just being gay or what is attributed with it? I’m pretty sure I heard about several gay and lesbian Mormons making a support video – maybe I misheard, but have you seen it?
Anyhow, I hope you’re not letting the way you grew up give you( religion included ) isn’t pushing you towards it. As for challenges regarding relationships, careers, etc. I think many here can relate with having a tough time… but things change and I know it may be wrong to say but it’s only been a year. There’s still hope, and it’s possible to overcome the challenges even if it doesn’t appear that way.
Keep strong.
You can’t “wait” for anything in life … you have to go out and get it … make things happen … contrary to your mother’s beliefs … miracles will not fall out of he sky into your lap … go have fun. If you don’t like your job , find a new one … if you have to, move, or go to school and learn something new or more. As far as a “scene” goes … last time I checked, gays are “allowed” to interact in whichever “scene” best suits their taste
party dawg
Maybe I should clarify some things. By “scene” I mean sleeping around and partying every weekend. That’s just not me. And yes I know not everybody is part of that scene but the majority of them are…at least here anyways. When I said this past year has been the hardest year that doesn’t mean that the years before were good. Thank you for your thoughts, WillTickin, it is hard to find someone that actually understands growing up Mormon and what not.
I don’t wait for anything in my life. I don’t expect to do nothing and have good things thrown my way. I do take action. I have been searching for a better job for a while now, not just been sitting there hoping that something falls into my lap. Haha I will try my best to party.