i feel like its time

I dont want to get better, i dont want to do anything, i
have no hopes or aspirations or dream or wants. I wrote a list of things to do
before i die – its come down to watching a tv series, and getting my things in
order. i dont want to travel, or do or see anything now or in the future.
because all those things, would be done as myself, and its myself that is the
problem. if i could have a labotomy, sure then maybe keep going. but without
that, i just dont want to live as this person.